So a bunch of experts have put the Patriots and Jets ahead of the Dolphins in the AFC East. Shhhhhhhocking!!
After interviews with insiders such as CBS analyst Steve Tasker, ESPN analyst Herm Edwards, Miami sportscaster (and ex-Dolphin) Kim Bokamper and Boston sportscaster (and former Patriot) Steve DeOssie, Graham concludes that while New England might be the favorite going in, the Patriots’ window for success is getting smaller after what the New York Jets accomplished this past year, and particularly this postseason.
What these meatheaded shitsacks forget is that, while the Jets defense was very good last year, they also got a fuckload of breaks at the end of the season, starting with the Colts laying down and sitting their starters for that all-important run to go and choke away the Super Bowl. Add a few "sure-fire" missed field goals, and the Chargers getting Norved and all of a sudden, the Jets are suddenly the next Team To Beat.
Never mind that we swept their asses. Never mind that they still don't know what they have with Sanchez other than a fagstick doucher who has a fucking orgasm after every goddamn single Jets touchdown (12 TDs, 20 INTs... he's the next big thing!). Never mind that they'll be limited with what they do in the draft and in free agency (Google it). The media "experts" are all going by what they did in the post season and fuck you if you disagree because, hey, they're experts. Herm Edwards is an expert. Herm Fuckin Edwards.
Anyway, whatever. Perception will be what it is and what it will be (I'm so Existential!). This offseason is the time for the Trifecta to do something about all that shit. They've got the 12th overall pick in the draft and free agency and a shitload of needs.
It all starts with what we do with the 12th pick. And it starts with us getting a big time receiver and a linebacker who can rip heads of dude's bodies and use the neck cavity as a shitter. It comes down to Dez Bryant and Rolando McClain. I keep going back and forth on who I'd prefer. Today I'm leaning on Bryant. Because, holy motherfuckshit look at that highlight reel!
Either way, this offseason will be the offseason the Fins go from middling team to possible contenders. It's year 3 in the Parcells/Ireland/Sparano era. Everybody's on notice. Look at the Saints this year. Look at the Steelers last year. Now go and do likewise, gents.
Fuck or walk.
