Calm down, for fuck.
Alright..... I'll say it.
Um, no.
Yes, I understand CJ Spiller is dynamic. A homerun threat every time he touches the ball. He has speed, acceleration, is a dual threat, can catch passes out of the backfield and from the slot, can make plays on special teams and, for all we know, has a cock with the girth of a hippopotamus's foot.
But here's what I don't like: He's 5'10, 196 pounds. Yes, he fucks shit up in the open field. But he's not a very physical runner and, at his size, the dude is going to take a serious pounding from NFL linebackers. This amounts to a guy who, while he may have the ability to turn back time by reversing the rotation of the Earth, will have to be in a 2-RB system and isn't an every down, workhorse back. With all the talent and cream-your-pants specialness about the kid, his career will take the likely path of every running back: running out of gas by the time he's 28 or so and then eventually suiting up for the Jets when his career is a mere shadow of its former self. Haha, fuck you Jets!
Bottom line, the dude is a great player. But his best fit is on a team that doesn't need, you know, a billion other fucking things like a nose tackle, a primary receiver, a safety or two and a linebacker who doesn't jump on a pile 2 seconds after the play is over. He's a luxury pick. And we can't afford that right now. Now quit your whining or I swear to Christ I will turn this car around and head back home!!!
Either way, feel free to enjoy his highlight reel after the jump. And feel free to debate the whole thing in the comments. As long as it doesn't veer off course and turn into a debate about what cartoon characters you jack it to. The fuck was that about???*
*Betty from the Flintstones