Ok, so I lied.
Sorry, but I was at the gym last week and saw a little bit of this new, totally crappy, exploitational-of-young-teenage-girls-who-don't-know-any-better-or-maybe-they-do-and-our-penises-are-just-stupid show called 'Pretty Wild' so I decided to forego your suggestions. Now, if I was the father to a young female then I would probably be horrified by this show and lock my child in a cage until she was 35. However, since I'm not and my one (remaining) able-bodied function in life is to be a conduit for you sickos out there to get news/information about young trim, I'm here to present you with the eldest of the bunch, Tess Taylor. I don't typically blow my top at the sight of women but I literally stopped my workout and gazed in abject STUPOR at the tetas on this animal. Brown hair? Check. Blue eyes? Check. White, creamy skin? Check. Youthful indiscretion? Check. Some WORLD SERIES FUCKIN' TETAS ON A BODY THAT CAN BARELY HANDLE THEM?? FUCKING CHECK x INFINITY TO THE 10TH POWER. All that to go along with a serious tit::waist::hips situation that makes 'hot, steaming Dolphins fan' from two years ago put her tail in between her legs and slowly walk out of the room.
So now you know what to set your DVR's to. The pilot episode 'Arrest' is particularly riveting and, rumor has it, MAY be up for an Academy Award next year.
As a bonus, here's Mad Men and Community scorcher Alison Brie. She really needs to do a Maxim shoot.
Have a good weekend, Nation.
