For those of you wondering why no pics of boobies here for our annual Free Agency Post, I received a few e-mails asking to not do that for this particular post from some who read us at work. No need to have dudes lose their jobs just because they keep checking in to see the updates and the boss man sees giant titties protruding from their computer screens. The tits will come later. We promise. For now, we'll update the news as we get it. Feel free to do the same. Besides, a pic of Ronnie Brown fucking up the Jets is just as good as tits, if not better. Sorta.
5:49: Since a whole lot of nothing is going on around our team, just thought you'd like to know that the Patriots are no longer in the running for Boldin's services. Zippity-fuckin-doo-dah.
5:43: Dansby Update, 3: Dansby visited with the Fins this afternoon, and is apparently the only free agent player who will visit with the team today. This, along with them releasing Porter and Ayodele means they're going in as aggressively as some have reported. Salguero thinks the Dansby deal is theirs to lose. I'm not wearing any pants.
4:00 Fuck me in the pants. That is all.
3:55: Looks like the Cardinals are going to trade Anquan Boldin. But not so much to us.
3:49: So apparently, judging from all the comments and e-mails I've gotten in my inbox, a shitload of you are Ryan Clark fans. For those of you who aren't familiar with Clark: Salguero says the Fins are talking about Clark as a fallback option if they lose out on Rolle. Clark played safety for the Steelers, had 89 tackles last year and 3 INTs. Would be a solid backup plan, I think. SO NOW YOU CAN STOP EMAILING ME!!!
3:18 Dansby Update, 2 (sorta): Julius Peppers has signed with the Chicago Bears. This is significant because the initial report is that it's 6-years, $40 million, and that would set the market for Dansby. It's also significant because we're now likely going to end up in a bidding war with the Redskins over this guy. And that sucks because it means we won't be making the highest bid. But, hey, SirVincent Rogers! Weeeee!!
3:00: Omar Kelly tweeted that we've signed OT SirVincent Rogers. If this is all that happens today, I'm going to shit into a used Amazon.com box, tape it up, and FedEx it to 7500 SW 30th Street, Davie FL 33314.
2:15: Dansby Update: Per the Herald, Karlos is in Miami right now. We're supposedly his first of many visits. Now would be a good time to dispatch the free hookers and show him how awesome the weather is. But mostly, the free hookers.
2:05: Antrel Update, 3: Arrrrrrrrrrrrmando is reporting via his twat (and Lord knows he's got a big one... BAM!!) that the Fins are still very much in discussions with Rolle's agent, Drew Rosenhaus.
1:17: Antrel Update, 2: According to AOL FanHouse writer, Dan Graziano, the Giants and Rolle are close to a deal. Fuck it. GET DANSBY!!
12:47: Antrel Update: PFT says three teams are vying for his services. The Giants, Cards and us. But a deal could come as soon as today. I just spilled Coke on my pants typing this. You see how I suffer for you!!
12:43: As some of you have already noted, the Dolphins want to bring back Captain Balls as a backup (I guess we'd have to demote him to Lieutenant Balls?). But he wants a no-trade clause in his contract. So the talks have hit a snag.
12:31 PM: Gibril Wilson is GONE! So long you giant sack of deer shit. Enjoy the $24 million in guraranteed money you stole from us. Asshole.
Does this mean Antrel Rolle will be a Dolphin now? Sources out of Arizona say the Fins have offered him a 5-year $30 million contract. Yipes.....