Seeing how we no longer need Dez Bryant, and have no shot at landing Eric Berry or A Boy Named Suh, the best thing might be to get the fuck out of the 12 spot by trading down, recouping a 2nd rounder and then getting ourselves two outstanding players with back-to-back picks.
Rumors have been floating since yesterday that the FO wants to do just that. They just need to find a team that is looking to trade into a high slot to work with. Oh hey guess what. The Eagles have said they would like to move up and draft either Eric Berry or Earl Thomas:
The Eagles are in a very small club, teams that want to jump up from low in the first round to the upper half. I believe Philly wants one of the two safeties in the draft --Eric Berry of Tennessee or Earl Thomas of Texas. With the 24th, 35th, 55th and 70th picks, the Eagles absolutely have the ammo to move up.
Those greedy fucks have two 2nd rounders, two 3rd rounders, two 4th rounders and just this morning had sex with your wife while you were taking a shit. The Eagles need a safety, but the drop-off after Berry and Thomas is pretty large. So, clearly, we're the solution to their problem. We could get their 24th overall and one of their second rounders, they get our 12th.
What's so hard to figure out about that, Eagles? You get to move up where you have a no chance of landing Eric Berry, a half-way decent chance of landing Earl Thomas, unless he goes to the Broncos at 11, and then you lose one of your second rounders and are stuck having to draft some guy you don't need and having to pay him first-round top-20 money. Hrm... I guess that wasn't so hard to figure out. Still. Call us!