Look, Jets fans, I get it. I happen to live in New York City and can appreciate its overinflated sense of self-worth. I see it all day, every day - in its residents, its women, its corporate structuring, its steady moral decay and, particularly, in its delusional sports fans. Yes, it's that time of the season when NFL fans all over this great land of ours get punch drunk on that delicious Kool-Aid called 'offseason expectations'. But this is getting a little ridiculous, guys. We make fun of you A LOT around these parts for your troglodytic tendencies, your deliciously horrible draft picks over the years, your disability in beating us as of late, and your overall stupid fucking big dumb mouths. But, seriously, guys....I mean, it's getting a liiiiittle absurd, k? 15-1?? I mean, let's not make a complete farce of reality. You BARELY snuck into the playoffs and only did so because of some fortunate scheduling and one team literally laying down in the second half of a crucial game during your 'run'. Your QB's stats were not anything to make Pat White very jealous: 196-364, 54% completion percentage, 12 TDs vs 20 INTs, 26 sacks, 10 fumbles (3 lost) and an awe-inspiring passer rating of 63. Wow. Scary, scary stuff.
Your defense is bullshit. It's just a lot of posturing, mouth-running and filled with guys (other than Revis, who is quite good) who have a myriad of problems - from not understanding the pull-out method to not getting that various incarnations of the Single Wing have existed in the NFL since its inception. During our Monday Night game last year when both of our teams could have been considered at 'full strength', we manhandled your ass in the run game. We ran over and through you. Even Ted Ginn Fuckface got behind your sccaaaaarrry defense for a huge TD that made jizz come out of my dick without even having to touch it.
Your offense is garbage. Led by Mr. Wonderstats up there, you have the game's best running back from 2003, one receiver that neither can keep his dick off the internet or knows how to shut off his iPod on flights and another who clearly prefers to model over making plays out on the field. It will be a pleasure watching your offense sputter week in, week out. Yea, Shonn Greene is nice at times (when the legs of everyone else in the league are completely shot ) and Dustin Keller would be a nice weapon if you actually knew how to use him, but let's not get ahead of ourselves people. Your team is straight BULLSHIT. For you to be this bullish on them is so laughable, I have actually come around to enjoy reading about you these days. It has gone that far! So, actually...let me re-phrase myself: feel free to continue the big talk and all the ridiculous predictions for the 2010 season. I welcome it. In fact, if there are aaaaannnnyyy other outlandish things you want to toss out there - say, Julia Roberts is the sexiest woman alive or having inbred sex with your New Jersey whore sister is biologically/morally okay or maybe aliens dug dinosaur bones into our crust to fuck with us or Creationism is fact or vaccines given to children make Jesus cry blood tears - please feel free to do so and give the rest of the world something to laugh at and avoid by making your monumentally-fucked notions public.
Go for it, fucktards.