As reported in the comments and places like PFT, it seems the Dolphins will FINALLY do the right thing and allow Zach to hold a press conference to retire like the true Dolphins badass/warrior/genius/leader/maverick/Jets-killing-motherfucker he is. After the FO shitstorms of inquiring about whore mothers, the mishandling of the JT situation, the sudden Ryan Clark disappearance, the AJ Edds-rookie camp-#54 mixup and any number of really bonehead, disrespectful shit our dearly beloved franchise has done recently, this is finally the right thing to do.
Still, if it really IS just a press conference for him to sign the one-day contract and retire as a Dolphin I can't help but be a little disappointed. Reason being: In the back of my mind there's the small hope that the media will be assembled in the room, cameras will be clicking, Zach and Ireland will slowly walk up to the podium with a couple of cases. Suddenly, there'll be some discussion amongst the media members as to 'what's in the cases? what's in the cases?' jibber, jabber, miscellaneous confused audience talk then BLAMMO!!! Motherfuckers pull out Gatling guns OG Tim Burton-Batman / The Untouchables-style and fucking LAY TO WASTE THE ENTIRE ROOM. Armando Salguero? DEAD. Dave Hyde? DEAD. Super-cool-guy-with-a-Jeep Jeff Darlington?? DEAD. Shit would look like the end of the Pearl Jam 'Jeremy' video.
.....
.....
What?!
Note: I believe The Dude may live blog it or do an immediate recap so tune in later - FOR THE DEATH TOLL!
