It's just being reported that NTJason Ferguson (seen here slowly digesting Thomas Jones) will fucking RETIRE (fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!) because reportedly his back has given out. Both notoriously hermitic Parcells and Ferg released statements regarding his retirement. As we all recall, Ferguson had been suspended for the first 8 games of this season due to some performance-enhancing drugs he'd supposedly taken during rehabilitation from last year's season-ending injury causing Randy Starks (aka BANG BUS) to move from the DE position to NT.
We'd all hoped to get Ferguson back to shore up the DL front, particularly for the last 8 games of the season and any crucial playoff push. Now we're entirely fucked in the ass. This is a big, big blow. I think we all remember what our run defense looked like last year after Big Ferg went down:
Regardles, we here at FN wish Ferguson well. Dude was a respected vet, a hard worker and a fuckin' warrior on the level of Tim Bowens and any other badass that has shored up the middle of our defense against any other cocksucker looking to penetrate it. He was a badass and will DEFINITELY be missed.
Goddamnit. I would now like to personally wish AIDS upon whoever drafted Dan Williams within the Arizona Cardinals organization. AIDS ON YOU! DIRTY MONKEY AIDS!