So today is the first day the Dolphins hold practices closed to the public. That's right, dicknose! No more sitting on sizzling bleachers in 98 degree weather watching football players run around in shorts for you! Fortunately, this means the regular season is almost here. And holy goat vaginas that shit cannot come fast enough. Until then.... A LINK DUMP!:
--COOLJEEPS! talks about what we've learned so far this training camp. Here's what I've learned: I'm actually a better football player than Pat White! YAY ME!
--Brandon Marshall started off yesterday's media session by punting a football. He was of course joking. But what would have been funnier is if he punted each of the media members in their ballsacks until they each coughed up their own spleens. That would have been fucking hilarious.
--Ronnie Brown has taken up the cause to end teen violence. He'd been searching for a cause. And he wanted to work with kids. And then he found a cause that works with kids. And then he broke his foot.
--The Fins signed 876 year old Randy Thomas yesterday to shore up the guard position. We seem to have an injury problem on our offensive line every damn year. But hey, who needs a bevy of young, healthy offensive linemen when you can waste a second round pick on Pat White.
--Rod Woodson: Member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Also, member of my heart's Hall of Fame.
Jesus H. Christ August cannot end soon enough.