- The Dolphins are 2-0 for the first time since 2002 and have not gone 2-0 on the road to start a season since 1977.
- Approximately 64.1% of teams that start off 2-0 make the playoffs.
- Your Miami Dolphins no-name defense redux is currently the #1 defense in the NFL.
- Your Miami Dolphins are currently in sole possession of first place in the AFC East.
- Oh, and it's fucking Jets week.
So it's clearly Morning in America again. The Dude will probably be by shortly for the game recap. For now, sit back and enjoy your Victory Monday virtual blowie as if it were given to you by Dude and DRK personal fav, January Jones up there. Let her rub her blonde victory locks all over your cum-heavy balls, let her giggle as her creamy white boobs softly tickle your winning scrota and smile as her soft mouth gently glides over your brick-hard victorious penis. That's a good Victory Monday, children.
FUCK THE JETS.