Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Weekender: Labor Day Edition!

ALRIGHT, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER!!! (I've tried to do this post 3 times already)

With the coming of Labor Day weekend we can now officially kiss that sorry ass preseason BUH-FUCKING-BYE and flush it down the toilet with all that messy, rainy, diarrhea exhibit of 'professional' football.  God, that was fucking uglier than The Dude's butthole (umm...not that I've ever seen it or anything).  Now we can return to believing Brandon Marshall is a fucking badass, being confident that THE ROBOT (trademark and patent-pending, you fucking mainstream media thieves) is the unquestioned starter, that Sean Smith is a taller version of Pat Surtain-to-come and that Pat White is...ummm...errr...well...really good at holding a clipboard and ordering the post-game pizzas????  I haven't watched last night's game yet as I opted for that UM pasting of FAMU but I'll be watching the replay tonight.  Something tells me I won't be very happy watching this so it's up to Mr. Johnnie Walker Black to make Roro a happy boy.

So in honor of everyone having a sexy, slurry, sweaty, Draper-esque, wake-up-naked-in-some-unknown-hotel-room-covered-in-blood-and-cocaine kinda weekend, I give you Miss Suncica Travica.  Apparently she's some hot, new tennis WAG of some Serbian guy (I did not care or bother to look up his name) playing at the US Open.  I'm actually attending it this Sunday like some New York patrician faggot Jerry Seinfeld face as I sip on a mojito and/or mimosa or whatever the fuck and use my binoculaurs to oggle chicks within Arthur Ashe like a goddamn lecherous swine.  Let's just hope I'm not feeling particularly 'stabby' on Sunday.  Wouldn't want to go all Monica-Seles-changeover-assault on anyone...

Anyway, more Suncica.  Bitch LOVES to show off her hot little body on her (very elusive) twitter account:

Yowks.  So. Much. Tit.

And here's another in my series of 'Girls DRK knows in one way or another'.  I used to work with ole' Red down here a few years ago back in Miami.  She was MARRIED but always used to lift up her shirt for me in the coffee room.  That crazy gal!! 

Not bad, eh?  She was a big Dolphins fan, actually.

Have a great weekend, Nation, and enjoy this final Weekender of the year!  Go Dolphins! 
 

Marlon Moore > Ted Ginn

 

Not sure what to say about last night. But, EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!

Seriously though. Our first-team offensive line got blowed up by a mostly-third string Cowboys defensive line, Chad Henne continues to have a glitch in the machinery and holds on to the ball way too fucking long, Brandon Marshall is very seriously a JR Tolver Award nominee (note- just kidding, I'd say that shit is going to Patrick Turner again) and Sean Smith got torched by fucking Dialtone Flexy Shits Tits Stephen McGee on a 43-yard TD to Sam Hurd. 

Worst of all, Tony Sparano got confused for a while there and thought this was a real game and kept marching the first-teamers out there. The result: embarrassment, Jake Long almost being lost for the season, and confidence being utterly obliterated. Well done, coach!

On the bright side: Rookie receiver Marlon Moore can fucking play. Robert Wallace might have saved himself a practice roster spot with a nice performance too. But Moore has been the lone consistent player in the preseason. And he's fast. And he can catch. And he runs through dudes when necessary. In other words, Ted Ginn and Cam Cameron can go fuck themselves with a nest of baby rattlesnakes.

Meanwhile, once again, Pat White was a no-show. So I'd say that's it for him. Asked if he thinks of the possibility of being cut from the team after the game, his response was: "If 'if' was a fifth, we'd all be drunk." So if Pat White set out to be a total NFL bust, wasted draft pick, almost dying in a football game and rambling on like a crazy person, mission accomplished!

Dolphins-Cowboys Open Thread

 

It's the last preseason game of the 2010 season and holy sugar tits is that fantastic. A week from tonight, the real games start. As for tonight, the Fins are going to have their starters out there for a series or two. Overall, I really don't care what goes down. Just stay healthy. And stop it with the damn dropped passes already, fuck-os!

Here's the link to tonight's broadcast for you out-of-towners. Accompanied by yet another picture of Adriana Lima above. Adriana Lima again? You ask. Twice in the same day? And I say, yes. When a miracle like this happens, don't question it! Just sit back and take it in.

The First Annual FinsNation Pig Skin Pick Em Is Here Exclamation Points All Up In Your Face

 

Disgruntled and angry that you weren't able to join the FN Fantasy Football league in time? Well calm the shit down, because star-commenter Tom-Ass has put together the first annual FinsNation.com Pig Skin Pick 'Em League. So now you can stop fucking whining. Space is unlimited, so no worries. Just sign up and pick the games. (Password: tits). 

I can't promise you a cash prize or anything if you win the league. But I can Google "Adriana Lima pictures." In which case, we're all winners.