Holy fuckbuckets what an absolute shitshow of a loss. There really is no way to properly describe losing to the Jets other than maybe slamming a Webster's Dictionary on your dong.
The Robot and his titanium balls showed the fuck up with 363 yards and a couple of touchdowns. Meanwhile, Brandon Marshall destroyed the Jets secondary with 10 catches, 166 yards and his first TD as a Dolphin. Davone Bess and Brian Hartline brought the pain as well. And while the running game wasn't great, it was solid at times, keeping the Jets defense honest.
I don't know about the ladies out there, but I can assure you every dude has at least once in their lives visited a public restroom where someone just dropped a shitbomb in one of the stalls. One of those shits that landed everywhere but the fucking toilet. It's on the walls, on the floor, on the ceiling. Just a shit that defies the laws of physics. And we're like, "What did that motherfucker eat that his entire colon just dropped a mushroom cloud of a shit? How is there shit on the ceiling? Is that even scientifically possible? Why am I still staring at all this shit?" Just shit everywhere. That's probably the best way to describe our defense last night. Any time you give up over 400 yards to Nacho Sanchez and his drunken friend, you've pretty much just dropped a shit so explosive, it's on the fucking ceiling.
That's pretty much is all there is to be said.
Oh yea, one more thing...
ENOUGH OF THE GODDAMNED FUCKING WILDCAT ALREADY YOU FUCKING DICKBREATHED SHITDIPPING FUCK FACES!!!
A brief tailgate recap coming here shortly.
I fucking hate today.