Each week, The Dude and I get a quick chance to speak with OC Dan Henning after the weekly media availability for offensive and defensive coordinators. Henning is known for his colorful personality and our in-depth questionnaire offers rare insight into the man behind the madness.
(On if the Wildcat has exhausted its usefulness)
Well, you ever try skin a chicken with a corn cob? It's kind of like that with this Wildcat thing. You take the good with the bad with it and you end up running around a little and suddenly you've got watermelon seeds in your mouth.
(On if Brandon Marshall was suffering some conditioning fallout at game's end)
Were you at the game or were you watching it from atop a strawberry mushroom cloud? Guy's a caged tiger, man. Fucker is READY TO GO. I'll hit you with this cane across your head Lane Pryce-daddy-style if you ask me that shit again.
(On Chad Henne's decision-making on the final few plays of the game)
You ever take a woman out to a Broadway show, she rubs your cock a few times at the bar beforehand then she hails the first cab home afterward? No? Well, let me tell you something, feller. There's nothing more fustratin' than that. Leaves a man with a chub pocket and that's a bit of what Henne was facing there against that team. Big chub pocket with everyone crowding around him and he probably shoulda released to the right, relieved himself in the corner of the endzone.
(lowers glasses, looks intently at us, whispers) JIIIIIIIIZZZZZ.
(On the lack of spirited defensive play throughout the game)
Is your name 'Armando'? I don't deal with the defense, son.
(On the Patriots scheme and things to look out for in Monday night's matchup)
Well, let me tell ya something. Them guys over there get paid too, ok? So we're gonna go into Monday Night with our whiskers polished, some whisky splashes on the tips of our pricks and a fistful of $20s. We mean business against those ankle grabbers and we intend to take that secondary down to the saloon, throw her on top the pian'er and give her an afternooner she'll never forgit. 'Draw and Quarter' her a little. Give her the ole' 'Choke Lizard', if you know what I mean. Choke her til she sticks out her tongue like a dying, thirsty Komodo Dragon??? You don't know, do you?
Thanks Dan Henning!