The initial blogging rage came from the Fins' failure to sign Drew Brees, and instead going with Daunte Culpepper. We all know how that shit played out. But I was so goddamned smart, I already knew how it was going to play out before it did (I really didn't, but I had a hunch Brees would turn out to be slightly better than Daunte. I'm a genius!). So I took to the interwebs and started typing furiously about it.
It was from this seed that the giant bag of dickjokery that is FinsNation.com was born. Soon enough, I was meeting like-minded people. And yes, as a bonus, a single girl or two with awesome boobies. I eventually met a young man by the name of Roger who would occasionally comment on my lonely blog. He said some insane shit. But it was fucking hilarious. Soon after that, I let Roger cover a Jets game for me. He went, took photos (the iconic Middle Finger at Jets Flag pic was born from this assignment), and wrote a great post. It was then that I asked him to hop aboard and be my partner in the dick joking business (that was probably the most homo-erotic sentence I've ever written! Weeee!). It would be a lot of hard work, no money whatsoever, and every now and then we'd probably have to deal with a Jets or Patriots troll or two. He agreed. Because we know we can kick any and all troll asses like the goddanmed Super Friends. We became the best of buds. And now we're arranging to fly to California to get married (JUST KIDDING, DAD! DON'T FREAK OUT!).
The blog then took off. Together with our mutual love of all things Dolphins, dick jokes, and tits & Scotch, we took the internet by storm. Made some friends (Ethan Skolnick) and some enemies (Armando Salguero and that twatface that runs TheBigLead.com). And it was the tits.
How in shit did this happen? I'll never be able to fully explain it. But it did. In just two years, we went from about 50 readers a day to 800. Then 1000, then 100,000. And eventually have hit the million mark every now and then. It fluctuates. But there's no denying FN hit a nerve, and took off. And we are humbled by it.
This is where the FN Army comes in.
DRK and I have always known that you are a loyal crazy bunch. And this past weekend, we got to experience it in person. It was amazing to put a face to the moniker of so many of you, and even meet folks who are loyal readers, but never comment. This weekend was as surreal as it gets. But in a good way.
From the very beginning at our small meet-up on Friday night, we were made to feel like rock stars. Jimmy was the first to buy us a drink. And it was all down hill from there! I don't think I've ever gone an entire weekend not paying for a single drink for myself. And yet, there I was. Imbibing with strangers who were now suddenly my family.
People from Utah, Nashville, Missouri, New York, Texas, and all parts in between, just expressing their appreciation for this shitty little blog that I started several years ago. It was surreal. And humbling. It was also quite a shock to have some of my lines quoted back to me. I never realized what a foul mouthed hooligan I am!
There was a need to talk to every one of you. And believe me, I'm not really the talking type. But I felt compelled to do so. Because I love and appreciate each and every one of you. And I know that I also speak for DRK when I say that I can't believe you all came all this way not just to watch the Fins and Jets, but to meet us and buy us drinks and make us feel like movie stars. It was fucking weird. But it was also fucking amazing.
From star-commenters like Tom-Ass (and Mrs. Tom-Ass!), to Jimmy (and Mrs. Jimmy!) and MoDolfan (and Mrs. MoDolfan!) and TheBDHill (And Mrs. TheBDHill! Haha, just joking John!) to Ben and Wendy and Carlos and CK and VinBob and his sister and their band of traveling bohemians, to all the others who came out. Every face is etched in my mind. Every kind word is tattooed on my heart. And all I did was start a blog where I can call Nick Saban a dickfaced assfuck. Awesome.
Meeting the wives was strange. Mainly because we felt like we might be the cause of strife in their marriage, due to their husbands spending roughly 18 hours a day on the site. Also because we post pics with chicks and their giant tits and asses. But the wives turned out to be super cool. Well done, fellas!
My personal favorite moment had to be meeting Lady Phin. Lady Phin is the very first female FN commenter, who has been with us from the very early go. That was pretty amazing. Also amazing? Meeting her mom and feeling like a total shitheal because of the vulgar crap we post on here. I hope Mama Lady Phin wasn't offended. She did class up the tailgate, that's for damn sure. Also, Lady Phin handed me an entire tub of beer. As a gift. Lady Phin fucking rocks.
As far as the tailgate goes: It was like any other. There was plenty of food, drinks, and other paraphernalia. There was a football where I occasionally let get past me on purpose so I could talk to the girls tailgating several car lengths back. And there were Jell-O shots courtesy of Mrs. Tom-Ass! She made damn sure I had two or three or six of those suckers. Women who like to get you drunk for no reason whatsoever are the salt of the fuckin' earth!
But for me, the highlight of the tailgate was just standing back and watching everyone mingle and mix. And wondering to myself, "How in Fuckface County, USA did this happen?"
Thank you all. For the drinks, the gifts (beach chairs! woo-hoo!), the laughs, and the new friendships. Thank you mostly for sharing your individual stories. How this blog has impacted you (suck on THAT, Tony Robbins!), how we speak for you, and for sharing your mutual hatred for Armando Salguero. Because fuck that guy.
DRK and I will forever treasure this weekend (even if it ended in disappointment). The memories -- from the sincere moments to the wacky wild ones -- will always be with us.
Thank you, Nation. You truly made us richer this weekend. Thanks for reading our goofy shit. This blog exists because of you. And for those who weren't able to make it, we hope we can catch you the next time around.
The Dude & DRK
Dick Joke Makers, Dolphins Fans
LET'S GO FINS!!!!! (feeenssup!)