When does a 10-6 win feel this amazing? Despite your offense having it's worst game of the year? Despite your shit-flinging quarterback throwing for a combined 55 yards for the game? Despite your old piss-bag for brains offensive coordinator calling for toss sweeps on 3rd and 15's?
When those wins come against the no class, over-hyped, cuntbag, cock-breath, gongloid, ass-faced, shit-stick, blue-balled monkey dicks known as the New York Jets. That's when.
Fucking. And. Glorious.
We can talk about our irrevocably shitty offense. But why bother? I mean, 10 points? And only because the defense put them in excellent spots to score said points? Fuck those assholes.
Let's instead talk about the ball-crushing, dick-swinging monstrosity that is our badass defense.
Aside from Sean Smith dropping interceptions in droves (in his defense, I wouldn't want to catch anything touched by Mark Sanchez either. TRANNY V.D.!!!), the defense skull fucked Sanchez, his offensive line, Tomlinson, Holmes and the entire Jets offense with impunity.
The Dolphins D was all over Nacho and the Dickriders, sacking Sanchez five times and forcing him to throw shitty all day. Kendall Langford lowered the ball-rattling boom early, forcing Sanchez to fumble. The fumble was eventually turned into a Brandon Marshall touchdown.
Cameron Wake (Mr. Sack!) bashed that little fucker in the face with his giant monster-dong twice, earning himself a league-leading 14th sack of the season. BALL SMACK!
Aside from the fumble and interception, the Dolphins also held the Jets down on 4th down twice. Because fuck you. And when the game was on the line at the end (thanks in large part to the giant pile of camel shit that is our offense), The Kraken stepped the fuck up, taking down Nacho on two of the Jets final three plays.
Probably the most satisfying part of this win: All the most insufferable, dickface Jets had their share of diarrhea taco-eating moments. Santonio Holmes? Dropped a pass in the endzone. LaDanian Tomlinson? Rushed for a paltry 49 yards. Braylon Edwards? Caught one pass for 17 yards. Rex Ryan? The permanent pained look of a man who just got his dick driven over by a riding mower.
And then, of course, there was this. But that shit is par for the course with these knuckle dragging fucktwats. Sal Alosi can shove his apology up his ass along with Fireman Ed's helmet, with Fireman Ed's head still in it.
We are now officially 3-1 against Ryan's Jets. And we hope this loss sends them into a late-season collapse of epic proportions. But make no mistake. This isn't a suddenly struggling football team we beat. This was our defense blowing up their shit good and proper. As if we knew any other way.
3-1, shit-suckers. 3 and 1. We hope every single one of you get your asses plundered by a Manhattan police horse. Fuck you all.
Onto Victory Monday, Nation! ...