Instead of re-living the clusterfuck that was yesterday's loss, we instead focus on the big news of the day. That big news being: Bill Cowher has the Dolphins on his list of teams he'd like to coach should the respective coaches of said teams get thrown out on their ass.
The Dolphins may be the most intriguing option because owner Steve Ross has wanted to energize his fan base as the team has played second fiddle to the Miami Heat ever since LeBron James and Chris Bosh signed with the NBA team. The Dolphins went into Sunday's game against the Buffalo Bills still alive in the playoff hunt at 7-6 but with a 1-5 record at Sun Life Stadium.
It makes sense that Ross would go after him. Because that goblin fucker would love nothing more than to spark the fan base and the national media's interest with a "sexy" name like Cowher's.
Still. Big name coaches have slapped us in the balls once too many times recently. So you'll excuse me if I'm not jumping into the Bill Cowher circle jerk.
Jimmy Johnson, Nick Saban, Bill Parcells. Each guy had this fanbase creaming its pants when rumors began to swirl of their coming to the Fins' rescue. All three came, got paid, and promptly took a giant shit in our collective mouths.
If Cowher comes here, great. If not, meh. I'm just tired of the bullshit "old school" coaches who come here to grind out wins and build teams that win and lose 13-10 every week. Enough! Of! That! Shit!
No more of this bullshit Wannstedtian mindset of running the ball 80 times a game and having a shit-slinging quarterback who merely "manages" the offense.
So fucking done with that philosophy.
But, whatever. At this point, they could hire Batman to coach this team and it would be an improvement. At the very least his press conferences wouldn't be the shitfests they are now with all the "we feel good about the direction we're heading in" bullshit coachspeak. He'd simply answer every question with, "I'm Batman!" and then disappear backwards into a cloud of smoke.
