Oh, Mephisto. How pleased we have been with how you have treated us thus far this season - especially after me and all your minions have guzzled so much DEATH JIZZ in your honor
Thank you, O Ruler of the Underworld. We Jizz Zombies will drink all the oceans full of your seething hate nectar. So acidic! So caustic! It is quite delicious and we gladly swallow it up despite the disemboweling toxicity with which it ultimately renders us incapable of even walking. WE SEEK ONLY SATAN'S JIZZ AND WE WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO RAPE THE YOUNG, FEAST ON THE ELDERLY AND DEFECATE OVER ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE IN THIS WORLD. Even as you disappointed us, oh Great Fornicator of Kittens and Strategist Behind Justin Bieber/NKOTB/La Macarena, when you allowed that team from New England to thoroughly beat our asses in the most embarassing of ways.
Therefore, this week we have guzzled even more jizz than we had earlier this season when some of us reached nearly Elton Johnian levels of toxic 'jizz stomach' in bullshit wins against the Browns, Lions and Texans. I must find the now-zombie gameball that your fat, hideous minion hath buried in that Hell's asshole called New Jersey in order to properly fill it with cockroach/rat jizz for me to feast on through the entire duration of Sunday's game.
Long Live Satan! Long Live swallowing jizz and jizz and jizz and more jizz and less jizz and stolen child jizz and stolen elderly jizz and defenseless war heroes that lost all their limbs stolen jizz and Hitler jizz and Castro jizz and Robespierre jizz and Che Guevara jizz and all the Serpentor-like jizz combinations that fuel our vile and disgusting race of Jets fans!!!
/ thunder
// lightning
/// horrible global plagues
