So Long, 99 … And Thanks For All the Asskickery

Jason Taylor is playing his last game on Sunday, and that blows big gargantuan camel nuts because he’s pretty much the last Dolphins player I truly give a shit about. I remember being at a Dolphins-Raiders game during his rookie season and seeing this tall motherfucker jumping off the line of scrimmage with insane speed […] Read more »

No Matt Barkley For You!

USC quarterback Matt Barkley announced today that he’s going back to school for his senior year. This leaves us Robert Griffin Number Three to hope for. However, he too may return to school for his senior year. And even if he does enter the NFL Draft, teams like the Browns and the Redskins (and maybe […] Read more »

Reggie Bush Won AFC Offensive Player of the Week

Reggie Bush is your AFC Offensive Player of the Week. Bush recorded a career-high 203 rushing yards in last week’s 30-23 win over the Buffalo Bills. Miami (5-9) is 5-2 in its last seven games and Bush is a key reason. He’s just 27 yards shy of his first 1,000-yard season. Remember when Reggie sucked? […] Read more »

Don’t Like Our Airplane Banner Idea? Kindly Suck A Bag of Dicks.

Disclaimer: This is by far the longest blog post I’ve ever written here at FN. Sorry about that. But the message needs to be made. Consider this our mission statement for the airplane banner thing. As you no doubt have heard by now, a plan to fly an airplane with a banner attached to it […] Read more »

Keys To The Game: Dolphins @ Cowboys

So, I actually want to get drunk and watch us win tomorrow. Sorry, but I fucking hate the Cowboys. Besides the Jets game at the end of the year, I’m fine with us losing every remaining game but I fucking really hate the Cowboys, their dipshit QB, their dipshit Head Coach, the Ryan brother that […] Read more »

Mmmmm…. Mediocrity

A three game winning streak. Well shit. I guess the worst part of all this is the stupid happy looks on the Nazi Dolphins Fans’ faces today. “WE JUST BEAT A REELING, INJURY-RIDDLED TEAM AND ARE NOW ONLY SIX STRAIGHT WINS FROM POSSIBLY MAKING THE PLAYOFFS! MATT MOORE IS THE TRUE HEIR TO DAN MARINO! […] Read more »

The Matt Moore Late Bloomery Pants Party!

Gotta admit. The only parts of the Dolphins game I watched was whenever they would appear on the Red Zone channel. And since we pretty much suck old lady ass in every aspect of football, I didn’t expect to see us there all that much. But then the DOLPHINS REDSKINS UPDATE!! thing flashed on my […] Read more »

Holy Titballs We Almost Won Again!

For the second week in a row, the Dolphins almost pulled off a win. The Dolphins need to cut that shit out already. Anyway, it’s Lucktory Monday! And good God we’ve earned it this week. So to celebrate, we give you the latest vid from those goofy fuckers Rizzmiggizz and Kevin Mayer. The video is […] Read more »