At this time, it seems the latest indications are that Coach Sparano has not been assured of returning next season to be the head coach of your Miami Uninspired Loserfucks. Remarkably, it seems Jeff Ireland has a slightly better chance of retaining his position as GM because drafting fervent, young clergymen and/or delving into the streetwalking proclivities of your FUCKING WHORE ASS mother are far more admirable endeavors to our clueless Gargoyle owner.
Whatever. I can barely write about this goddamn team. They took a giant shit in my aorta after the Browns game. Since then, I've been mentally pretending to give a shit about this sad sack of uninspiring, uncreative clusterfucks. I think Ireland should go. I'm beginning to come around to Sparano staying (I mean, who the fuck else is out there that we REALLY have a shot at getting with our current QB situation) as long as there's a different GM and a different OC - someone young that's nasty and wants to eventually be a head coach in this league. Not some guy that figured this would be an okay job to have (for now) if it allowed him to have lunch with his best friend of 400,000 years or because beautiful Doral golf courses are a hop, skip and a jump away. Fuck that shit. We need to start making intelligent, focused football decisions and not co-exist with some shitty 'buddy system' that worked in 1991. Oh? You know this offensive coordinator from your Connecticut days??? Well, perfect, because we're not hiring that asshole and we're bringing in this complete stranger badass motherfucker instead.
And, frankly, if they fire Sparano's ass today as well I will be totally a-okay with this. Some heads need to roll. Somebody needs to be held accountable for this complete lack of intelligence and glass-half-full garbage. We have an offensive line-based head coach with a terrible offensive line. We don't have a single QB on our roster at the moment and there is likely to be shit left in the draft when our turn comes up. The thinking and rationale behind this team's makeup has been straight up moronic.
I hope Ross slicked his Goblin hair back today, chose the red fucking tie and goes in there hungry for blood. Kill 'em all, I say.
/ end rant