« January 2011 | Main | March 2011 »
In keeping with The Dude's Friday night, pre-date post from last week (which went very well, thank you very much!!!) I figured it was my turn to put up my own Friday night date doppelganger for your viewing pleasure.
May thin girls with big boobs, dark hair and piercing blue eyes live on forever until the Sun expires in the most glorious supernovae.
Have a good weekend, Nation.
Your Miami Dolphins went ahead today and placed the franchise tag on formerly-obese-and-useless-but-after-I-kicked-some-decent-ass-last-season-suddenly-I'm-irreplaceable Paul Soliai. We're talking major cheddar here: $12.5mil for just one season (thanks, Albert Haynesworth). The team has been trying to work out a long-term deal with Soliai but dude wants Randy Starks money (we all remember what an awesome season Randy had, right? We don't?) so the team is basically in the position of losing our starting NT on the 7th-ranked run defense or biting the bullet and bending over. How we didn't make a REAL offer last season is baffling to me personally but apparently his agent has been playing hardball for some time. So here we are: throwing a shit ton of insurance cash money at a guy that was this close to being cut out of training camp. Will Paul Soliai maintain the tenacity and passion he displayed during the entire 2010 campaign? Does this picture give you an idea of where my head is at with regards to that question?
In other interesting news, the Dolphins went ahead and gave recently-cut TE - and person I nearly got into a fight with at Mr. Moe's in the Grove - Jeremy Shockey a physical today. Strange move considering how close Payton and Sparano are but it would be nice to be on the other end of a Shockey knuckle sandwich sometime. The one that doesn't involve one of our DBs picking up his own carcass off the field. This would give us the formidable two-tight end package that we've been desperately seeking since NO FACE David Martin suddenly started to suck for some reason. More to come on this, no doubt.
Boobies.
This is Rosie Jones.
I'd never heard of this beautiful beast before just now but I saw a picture of her this morning and realized I very dearly want to bang her.
I love you guys so I thought it imperative to share her with you.
Have a lovely day.
I’M ALIVE!
Sorry about the lack of posts from me here at FN, Nation. The man has me shackled with his “rules” and “responsibilities” and “bills” and “feed your kids” and shit. I’ve been swamped. But I’m here to kick off my 2011 Weekender in style. So you can unclench your sphincters now.
Point being, I’m here to show you boobies and ass.
And this week I give you Jordan Carver. She’s a German model. She’s become kind of an Internet sensation and has been in a commercial or two. But mainly, she has big tits.
And if you don’t appreciate big tits, then you’re really just an asshole. And you probably like penis. But mostly, you’re an asshole.
In this Q & A she reveals that the place she likes to be touched are her hips. Which makes no godamn sense to me. That’s like me saying I like to be touched on my nostrils. Still, if that’s what it takes to get to the top, then so be it.
Hey, you have to believe in your dreams. That’s what the magician that worked my 8th birthday party taught me. Well it was him and my buddy Bryan’s mom. She had enormous breasts.
I think the moral of this story for the kids out there is that you should have friends with moms with big tits.
I was looking up the cover for the Beach Boys 1967 album 'Smiley Smile' and this photo came up. Beats the fuck outta me buuuuut have a good weekend, Nation.
Sorry.
Got very tired, very quickly of having the Steelers fan occupying the lead space on this here titty blog. So I figured we might as well put up some of the best gat-dang tits currently alive. Just goes to show you that no matter how infuriatingly annoying and mind-numbing a person can be, if she is a very, very hot woman with enormous 32D jugs your penis will ultimately wrestle control over your rational brain. Your penis wins every time. When up against your penis, your brain is the 2011 Cleveland Cavaliers and the Columbia football team from 1983 - 1988 combined.
Update: Some actual news - seems Will Allen has restructured his contract with the Dolphins and ole' Rock Hands will return for the 2011 season. Also, with Ray Horton being selected as the new DC in Arizona, DB coach Todd Bowles will likely stay on with us for a 4th season. Has he figured out a way for us to make Nick Collins-like ints this season, I don't know but he'll be back to join the circus!!!
Well, ain't that just a hell of a bitch when your obnoxiously fanbased team that has had WAY too much referee-attributed success just all of a sudden gets gobbled up by MIKE FUCKING MCCARTHY outsmarting your team and gameplan (ya know, running out of a 5-wide spread and limiting your DPOY to standing 25 yards behind the line of scrimmage) and picking your sorry ass fucking team apart right where it hurts?? HOW DO YOU REACT? APPARENTLY, you wear AT LEAST two jerseys during the course of the drunken night and hope and pray for 7th Heaven...
...but it never comes...and the night is lonely and desperate and sad.
Fuck the 2010 Steelers and their rapist QB with a 36oz Easton aluminum baseball bat. I loathe them and they fell so deliciously. Nice to know every other team now has a solid blueprint with which to exploit their dumb defensive asses.
FUCK YOU, STEELERS.
To quote Kurt Cobain....'one more solo???' YEAAAAAA
What a great fuckin' weekend!
I shudder to think how deeply esconsed in the 'D' word we are right now. Senior Bowl was last week and that was 'aight', I guess. We can sit here and wonder for months and months whether Kaepernininiininick is worth dropping down in the first round and taking a chance on some lanky dude with a slow-as-molasses release or sell the barn to get Cam Newton or Blaine Gabbert. Typically, I want nothing to do with anyone named 'Blaine' because it reminds me of this but I'm very, very old, you see.
Anyway, Brooklyn Decker and her wide open pelvis are here to at least get the image of Jeff Ireland saying 'NO' to whores out of your mind for just a little bit.
I'm going back home for the weekend. Winter sucks my balls.
Go Packers.
