Well, it seems the ultimate sports Crapocalypse is apparently over. Or will be imminently. We think.
Anyway, expect a flurry of free agent activity to happen over the course of the next few days beginning tomorrow at 10am EST. ACTUAL FOOTBALL SHIT! HOLY GIANT TITBALLS OF THE VIRGIN MARY HERSELF!!! How many available players will have whores for mothers or not enough Boy Scout merit badges for the Oral Roberts University of the NFL, YOUR Miami Dolphins?? What poorly thought-out FA moves will our Benny Hill episode-of-a-front-office make in the next few days? What will we do 'at da end of da day and dese types of tings', as Sparano will no doubt say 847 times in the next week or so? Ah, can you smell it? IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON. IT'S A LAME DUCK MIAMI DOLPHINS BRASS READY TO TAKE US TO THE PROMISED LAND!!! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HILARIOUSLY POORLY-PLANNED AND COMPLETELY FUCKING BUNGLED FOOTBALL?!?!!
You said you've been dying for it all along. You've been pleading for Dolphins football. You've waited patiently for any sliver of information that does not involve the 'Top 50 Dolphins players that had incurable venereal diseases in the 1970s-80s'. Legitimate Dolphins football news is right about to fucking happen! WOW!!!
Let's hope we don't look back after the whole thing and say, 'damn, I guess you better be careful what you wish for after all...'
So, yea, we're fucking back. Let's do this shit.