I've never actually seen the Marino section of the NFL 100 Greatest Players special that came out last year, because the mere fact that he's ranked 25th (25TH!!!!!!!!!!!) is the biggest crock of shit ever perpetrated in the history of everything. The dipshits who decide these rankings need to be punched repeatedly in the balls by one of them boxing kangaroos.
The whole "greatest passer ever" line is a giant mound of badger shit too. What does a QB do? He fucking PASSES the ball. You fucking shitsticks. Greatest passer ever = Greatest QB ever. Dickholes.
No one threw the ball like him.
No one moved in the pocket like him.
No one won like him.
And he did it all with, frankly, some pretty goddamn shitty teammates.
Drew Brees? Brett Favre? Tom Brady? All ranked ahead of Dan Marino? FUCKING HORSEASS!
How is that even fucking possible? How does that shit happen? How is it even debatable?
Dan Marino revolutionized the position and won inspite of his shitty teams. And in his day, you didn't have all these rules where a cornerback even so much looks at a receiver, he gets flagged. He had to throw the perfect pass to beat the corners drapped all over his receivers. And he did it better than anybody. He did it so many times, in fact, he re-wrote the fucking record book (again, without the aid of bullshit offense-friendly rules).
Marino obliterated the record book without the aid of pussy rules or pain killers (I'm looking right at you, Oldman Cockshots!). He did it before the days of the 6'12 mutant-sized wide receiver, before the rule changes and he did it better than anyone. ANYONE!
He's the perfect quarterback. And had it not been for some shitty front office moves that never got him the right teammates throughout his career (fuck you with a hedge trimmer, Sammie Smith!), the guy would have won several Super Bowls. And then he'd be considered the undisputed greatest ever.
But because individual greatness is somehow decided by a bunch of other assholes who play other positions and some really good luck, the cockbreaths who decide these things fucked him with #25.
I hope they all catch a disease where their hands turn into shit. Then people will be all, "You got shit for hands, man!"
Fuck you, Shithands!
