This is the first time I've felt good about a Dolphins loss, pretty much ever, in the history of my life. But 0-4 has us right on track (LET'S GO COLTS!!). And so far, there are no signs George Costanza Tony Sparano is going to get fired just yet. Which can only mean one thing: MOAR FIELD GOLS! FUKC YEA!
It's bizarre as shit rooting against the team you've poured your heart and soul into all your life. But there I was. Getting mad at the Chargers when they fucked up a play, or getting antsy when it looked like Matt Moore was suddenly going to be fucking good.
But this is where the shit river has taken us. It's taken us to a point where giving a fuck is as common as jizzing gold nuggets. Where if I had a hundred sacks filled with fucks, I would stash them away and hoarde them in a vault like Scrooge McDuck.
And now it's Andrew Luck or Bust time.
I still can't bring myself to root against the Fins against the Jets, but we'll visit that weirdness next week. For now, we're 0-4. AND IT SORT OF FEELS KINDA AMAZING!
For those of you feeling like someone tapped your nuts with a ball-peen hammer this morning, I understand. 0-4 feels like someone just ripped your heart out of your chest and replaced it with a bag of dog shit and then set it aflame. But keep in mind, the pain now can lead to happiness later. Just endure the next few weeks with those of us who have jumped the fence. IT'S LIBERATING AND FANTASTIC!
Can we lose 11 to 12 more games? I know we can. But will we?
Don't fuck this up, Dolphins! Keep doing that thing you've been doing for the better part of a decade.
Oh and you can go read my New Times recap here. Tits.