With The Robot going down with a shoulder injury and possibly being lost for the season, the Dolphins reportedly have reached out to former Jaguars QB David Garrard and fomer Panthers QB Jake Delhomme:
The Miami Dolphins were in discussions with quarterbacks David Garrard and Jake Delhomme this week, according to league sources, but sides could not agree on a deal, and the prospects of a contract now are not great. The Dolphins are continuing efforts to sign a veteran Tuesday afternoon, sources said, including attempts to rekindle discussions with Garrard. Miami had significant interest in signing one of the veterans, with the team struggling at 0-4 and quarterback Chad Henne dealing with a shoulder injury that may threaten his season.
WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?!
This is where Stephen Ross needs to step in and put a stop to this shit. The fuck are we trying to salvage a lost season for? We're 0-4! It's over! The season is finished! SHIT ON A TURTLE!!1!1!!!
These dipshits aren't trying to salvage anything but their jobs. Maybe not with the Dolphins, but with a possible future employer.
Possible Future Employer: Why should I make you head of our scouting department?
Jeff Ireland: Well sir, even when we lost Chad Henne for the season, I went out and signed David Garrard to a one year deal. AIN'T NO QUIT IN THIS GINGER!
Seriously, just stick with Matt Moore. Just sign some Curtis Painter type if you need a second-string QB to even out the roster. Both David Garrard and Jake Delhomme are just good enough to get us five wins, at the very least. Which would not only not get us into the playoffs, but would completely fuck our Suck For Luck wishes right in the pants.
Christ baby Stephen Ross is a fucking imbecile.
We should get One Million Moms, the organization that rallied to get Shweddy Balls ice cream off store shelves, to own the Dolphins. Those ladies get shit done.