So we didn't post a Keys last week and, of course, we win the fucking game. CLEARLY EVERYTHING WE DO IS TIED INTO THE DOLPHINS CHI!!!
Therefore, we got Keys this week to try and bring us back into the shitty, muddy, dirty dog brown water world that we are accustomed to. To help, above is a pic that Francesca Frigo tweeted today that was damn delectable. Could you picture laying below those boobies and being smothered to death under their delicious, pillow-y weight? I know you can. A fine death-by-suffocation indeed!
The Keys:
- The Matt Moore Marionette Puppet needs to quit it with that shit he pulled in KC. I'm starting to accept the fact that we MAY not get fucking Andrew Luck because these dickfaces are too 'competitive' or whatever but I will be fucking DAMNED if we do not have a shot at Matt Barkley come April. I will do what I must in order to avoid that.
- LaMontell Pussyhammer and his goddamn 2-game streak of playing well is NO GOOD, MENG! Stop it! NONONONONONONONONONONO!
- Defense! Now you assholes wanna start to actually play? NOW? 8 games in??? Perfect! Some day you can gloat to your grandchildren about how you played during a few games there for an eventual 4-12 team, you cocksocks.
- The urge to punch Tony Sparano in the face every time I see him clapping and waving the team off the field after a successful (or even unsuccessful) drive-ending play is bordering on bloodthirsty lunacy.
SUCK FOR LUCK!!! KEEP THE FAITH!!! COLTS PLAY JACKSONVILLE SO DON'T LOSE OUT HOPE!!!
