Drew Brees broke Dan Marino's single-season passing record last night. And while ESPN went out of its way to cover the event, even taking a camera into the Saints locker room and bringing America live coverage of Brees thanking his teammates and the people who rub his balls, the whole extravaganza will be somewhat deflated when, in less than a week later, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers break the record themselves this Sunday.
How does a record that has stood for 27 years get broken by three different guys in the span of a week?
Because, as CBS.com's Mike Freeman points out, today's NFL is one giant pussy fart where defenders aren't allowed to even look at receivers and linebackers are fined a gazillion dollars if they so much as yawn in a quarterback's direction.
Thanks to liberal offensive-friendly rules, Brees was able to break this record.
Basically if Marino played in this era, he'd throw for 9,000 yards easily every single season, and then he'd mouth bang Ben Roethlisberger's mistress, and it would be consensual!:
[Marino's] throws were unbelievably accurate and he did this during a ferocious era of NFL defense. The 1980s were one of the more violent in football when athleticism on the defensive side of the ball, in many ways, was better than the offense. Players like Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White and Ronnie Lott, among many others -- head hunters and rib breakers -- were allowed great latitude to do massive damage to wide receivers and quarterbacks. Receivers weren't protected and quarterbacks were brutalized. Though Marino's quick release helped to protect him from many major hits (though far from all of them) his receivers were hammered.
Like Marino, Brees is using pinpoint accuracy to shred defenses. Unlike Marino, Brees is doing it with liberal rules that leave defenses playing with one hand tied behind their back.
In effect, Brees' record will be severely watered down. So much so, that it almost deserves an asterisk.
Receivers now go across the middle knowing chances of getting cracked in the head are slim. You see these offenses. Receivers run untouched and wide open. The deep middle is where a defense is most vulnerable and, like any great player, Brees has taken full advantage. The rules have removed lions from the wild allowing the antelope population to prosper.
This is not to say that Brees isn't a brilliant talent on his way to the Hall of Fame. He is. Brees. Carpet. Red. Roll it out. It's just that his record is a shell of Marino's.
The article also goes on to point out that, thanks to these shitty rules, dudes like Matt Schaub, Daunte Culpepper and Jeff Garcia all have better QB ratings than Marino. Read that sentence again, and make me not diminish all this record breaking nonsense.
So while Brees is an amazing quarterback, and while he and his freakish face mole will be in the Hall of Fame some day, this record is tainted in every way.
But congrats to Brees, Brady and Rodgers. This is a remarkable achievement and a hallowed record that will stand the test of time until Andy Dalton breaks it next season.