Brandon Marshall Catches 4 TDs in Game That Doesn’t Matter

While I admittedly didn’t watch much of the game at all, I turned it on after my post-Heat nap to find Marshall totally fuckin’ BALLIN’ out there.  True, there’s more defense being played at a Banyan Elementary recess football game but it still feels sorta nice to have a Dolphins player do some pretty badass […] Read more »

Weekender New Coordinators

The Dolphins have a pair of brand new coordinators, with former Packers and Texas A&M coach Mike Sherman as the new offensive coordinator and fomer Bengals DB coach Kevin Coyle the new defensive coordinator. And while a lot of you might be excited about this news, I’ll save my excitement for SI swimsuit model Izabel […] Read more »

Mike Sherman? Yea, ok, I guess

It’s looking like former Green Bay Packers coach and Texas A & M coach Mike Sherman might very well be the next offensive coordinator for the Miami Dolphins. Sherman was at one point the front runner for the Tampa Bay Bucs head coaching gig, but that looks like it ain’t happening. He’s interviewed with the […] Read more »

Joe Philbin Will Coach The Miami Dolphins

ESPN’s Adam Schefter tweeted it out. Former Green Bay Packers OC Joe Philbin is the new head coach of your Miami Dolphins. So, we went from giving HEFFF! helicopter rides, to everyone saying they’d be shocked if we didn’t hire The Turtle Coach, to naming Lurch up there the new head honcho. Our immediate reaction: […] Read more »

Weekender: Butt Party

Weekender: Butt Party Ah, Francesca Frigo…you know exactly how to make a guy smile after a tough day, don’t you? You’re one of a kind. Little-known-fact: Balconies were originally conceived SOLELY for the purpose of bending hot women over while you absolutely drilled them from behind. See, the original designers figured it would be quite […] Read more »

Mike McCoy Might Be Our Next Coach, Looks Like A Cartoon Turtle

With the shitheads who run our team narrowing things down to three of the most mundane and insipid coaching candidates to ever be assembled by a professional sports franchise, at least one of them is feeling preeeaatttaaaayyy cocky about his chances at being named the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins. According to sources, […] Read more »

And the f**kery continues into phase 2….

So now that Jeff Fisher has come out and said that the Rams’ quarterback situation and leadership helped him to choose them over the Dolphins, and Jim Caldwell has been fired by the Colts, making Indianapolis pretty much the most attractive place to coach because of Andrew Luck, the Dolphins have narrowed down their choices […] Read more »


It’s not like I’m some troglodytic newb…I’VE GOT OVER 5,300 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! Just keep your hands off my trusty flint knife and be careful with any archers in the stands during away games.  Not sure I can handle another blindside attack.  I’m extremely fragile these days.  JUST LOOK AT ME! Read more »