So now that Jeff Fisher has come out and said that the Rams’ quarterback situation and leadership helped him to choose them over the Dolphins, and Jim Caldwell has been fired by the Colts, making Indianapolis pretty much the most attractive place to coach because of Andrew Luck, the Dolphins have narrowed down their choices to three.
There’s interim coach Todd Bowles, who has zero chance of getting the job because if they really wanted him, they’d have offered him the job already. If they do offer Bowles the job after going through Fisher and a handful of other candidates, he should totally smack Stephen Ross in his craggily dick with a sock filled with nickels while yelling, “RESIPROCITY MOTHAFUCKA!!” over and over and then stare at a crumpled and scared Jeff Ireland for a full two minutes before grabbing a stapler off the desk and then calmly walking out.
Then there’s Joe Philbin of the Packers of Green Bay. At first glance, this would seem the no-brainer because it’s the fucking Packers of Green Bay. But then you find out that Mike McCarthy called most of the plays in Green Bay, and Philbin was more of a fill-the-gaps kind of guy and, well, cockmugs.
Finally, there’s Denver OC Mike McCoy, who is young. And that’s it. Sure, he helped adapt his offense to make Tim Tebow look like Joe Montana, but if you’re going to use that as a factor, why not look into Carmichael Jr. or CHUD?
Why? Because we have fucking mongoloids running our goddamn team. That’s why.
Some reports are saying the decision could come as soon as today. And to that I say big giant queef noise.
So for now we continue to sit and wait.
And while we wait, go watch this. We’re not into getting political around here. But if that SOPA shit goes down, you could be looking at the most boring dick joke blog ever when you visit us here at FN. Weekender? Gone. Funny pictures of Jeff Ireland fucking a mutant dolphin lady? Kaput. So get educated and support the protest. VIVA LA DICKJOKE!