So, yea, that happened.
While I admittedly didn't watch much of the game at all, I turned it on after my post-Heat nap to find Marshall totally fuckin' BALLIN' out there. True, there's more defense being played at a Banyan Elementary recess football game but it still feels sorta nice to have a Dolphins player do some pretty badass shit, including the HOLY FUCK catch pictured above. Pretty badass when a dude has 6 catches and 4 of those are for touchdowns (along with 176 receiving yards, to boot). As Arrrrrmando stated (and I gotta admit that his blog articles have been a bit more sufferable lately and HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST TYPED THAT OUT), it shows that Marshall can be an elite player when paired with comparable talent. Put him with a puppet or a robot or any other object that lacks a semblance of a soul and you get an irrate, disgruntled, annoyed child (note: he'd probably become this anyway over time with anyone) that suddenly can't get open despite his obvious physical gifts. Shit, he was killin' it with Jay Cutler and Cutler's the biggest Mr. Wompy Sadface maybe ever!
As Marshall said:
"It says a lot when you're playing with these type of quarterbacks. They just put it in the right place and I just made the play. Hats off to those guys throwing me the ball."
Matt Moore Puppet Dejected Falling Puppetmaster Strings In The Corner of The Room Sad Face Pinocchio!!!!
Point is: stop dickin' around and get a REAL fuckin' QB. Draft one every goddamn year until you hit on another one. Even the stupid Patriots drafted Mallett and they have one of the best QBs ever as their starter - as epically douchey as he is and all.
Anyways, congrats to Brandon Marshall on a truly BEASTLY performance. Oh, and please stop being so deliberate in your answers!!! Wish I had a nickle for every 'you know what' he uttered. Goytrain!
OMG, are you kidding? That is just amazing! I think I speak for everyone here when I say we are in shock -- Arrrrmando is readable?!
Oh, and good job representing the Dolphins on the field Marshall. Too bad you turned around and shit in the mouth of your QB Matt Moore, who likely starts at QB in 2012 if we don't get Manning or Flynn.
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Ok guys, I've been on this site for a while and have never posted...but if no one else is going to say it I will. Fuck B Marsh did this amaza wad decide to finally take his meds and get rid of the worse case of the dropsies I have ever seen. This guy is fucking amazing, trade him now while his stock is up before he returns to his South Florida sun stroked on again off again style. Marshall makes me want to punch my nieghbors kid in the face on a weekly basis during the regular season. Also the guy makes millions why the fuck is his angry ass wife so goddamn ugly!!
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 12:04 PM
I dont think we should be too worried about Marshall hurting Matt Moore's feelings. Everyone from Ross, Ireland, Philbin, even Don fucking Shula, has said we need to address the QB "situation." At the very least you'd have to agree Moore has received about the same vote of confidence that Sparano did last year. If we go into 2012 with a lame duck QB in Moore, by week 3 we will be all hoping we Blow4Barkley!
Posted by: Nydolfan84 | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 12:09 PM
It's bizarro world, T.A. Omar is suddenly unreadable and I find myself *occasionally* agreeing with a more subdued Armando.
/ books doctor's appt
Posted by: Dat Roro Kid | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 12:22 PM
I support the draft one every year until we find one. I support using a 1 or 2 every year on this pick until we find one because we do not have one.
However, BMarsh did drope like 4 or 5 TD passes that arguably would have made the difference between winning and losing those games. He easily could have qualified for his own Drop It Like Its Hot video (TD remix). He can slip on a McDonald's bag and fall on a knife this offseason for all his dropped passes from a shit ass QB this last year.
Posted by: Jimmy | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Yeah...FUCK yeah lets blow a 1-2 every year even if the scouts say there isn't a pro QB there. Or why not drop a bag of fucking money out of an airplane and hope we hit a pro QB on the head. Either a pro QB is in the draft or they aren't trade up or wait till next year.... but don't blow your top draft picks on more Becks or Hennes or (insert shitty QB name here!).
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 12:40 PM
So lets sign Manning and draft Tannehill.
MANNEHILL.
Posted by: Mike13 | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 03:09 PM
I have to agree that Armando has been readable lately.
He's just refusing to tow the "blow sunshine up everyone's ass" line that other Fins beat writers inexplicably have done since yet another shitty, shitty season.
He's still an incomparable douche, though.
Posted by: THE DUDE | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 05:05 PM
Fuck yeah, Banyan Elementary! My flag football games there were more exciting than the Pro Bowl.
Posted by: This Is Chucker | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 05:16 PM
This game seems to have reopened the debate of Marshall as a person and player. The super bitter Dolfans hate him because of his Ted Ginn cursed hands (why'd you pick #19?!) but others swear he's a top 3 WR. I honestly don't know how to feel about the guy at this point.
Posted by: AMas92 | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 05:26 PM
The shitty Miami QB's put the ball "in the right place", Brandon....and you fucking dropped it. This cocksucker dropped what...like 8 TD's this year? It wasn't the QB's...it was you. Granted, if we had a franchise QB this guy could get 2,000 yards and 20 TDs a year.
Posted by: Chris | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 05:28 PM
Mando hasnt become more subdued and readable. Its just that Mando has always shat all over this beloved clusterfuck of a team. And as a by product of our cynicism,we mistake his ramblings for good writing.
So yeah these assholes better start winning.
Posted by: Mike13 | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 09:57 PM
Fuck....can we just (once) have a decent QB and a decent WR or two simultaneously. Is that too much to ask?
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Monday, January 30, 2012 at 10:32 PM
@TA....We ARE talking about the Dolphins here....so....
I'm guessing Fuck and No.
Posted by: Vman | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 09:34 AM
@ mike13,
You may have a point there.
Posted by: Dat Roro Kid | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 10:47 AM
Posted by: ckparrothead | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Apparently Manning has lost a lot of velocity in his throws. Do we really want Caot Balls 2.0?
He is in all likelihood done, I wouldnt take a chance on him.
And before anyone says "BUT DREW BREES CAME BACK FROM A MAJOR INJURY!"
Brees had a 360 degree rotator cuff tear, that means ALL of the muscls and tendons in his shoulder were shreded. The fact that he came back and arguably came back better is a miracle.
Also; Its Peyton's neck we're talking about. He kind of needs his spine working to move/live/avoid paralysis.
Posted by: Mike13 | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 01:56 PM
There is no coming back from Peyton's injury. He's done. Let's move on. Flynn or RGIII or bust. That's all!!!
Posted by: Gersom | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 02:35 PM
All I needed was to see Peyton turning at the waist instead of at the neck to look at stuff to know he is burnt toast, ready for a career on the TV.
Posted by: Jimmy | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 04:50 PM
peyton is made from the same mold as traog. if he can play next year, everyone will rue the day they passed on him again.
a healthy peyton next year is going to make a mockery of nfl defenses.
Posted by: Julioruano | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 05:44 PM
I might rue the day, but I would rather take my chances and pass on him. He is damaged goods. I just can't see him playing this coming season, if ever.
Posted by: Gersom | Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 09:14 PM
TRAOG had no quit in him either, but eventually her had to listen to his knees/achilles/ankles and hang it up. Peyton is still in denial and just hasn't crossed the bridge he standing at the foot of currently.
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Wednesday, February 01, 2012 at 09:08 AM
That was the worst typo ever, T-A
Posted by: Jessie Z! | Wednesday, February 01, 2012 at 09:36 AM
Stupid QWERTY keyboard on my phone. Accidental "r" by me.
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Wednesday, February 01, 2012 at 11:38 PM
maybe all the losing and being everyone else's bitches has worn the fans out...
a pissed off peyton with the dolphins next year makes them instant, legitimate super bowl contenders.
the colts are just trying to spin this that peyton can't come back, but the doctor already said if he was his son he would clear him to play on sunday!
even if it is only for a couple of years, i would like to relive the days where we had a badass motherfucker throwing the rock for the dolphins. peyton is just one yr removed from 4700 yds and 33+ tds... he is going to break a can of badass on the league next year the likes that we probably have yet to see. i hope to hell that will be for the dolphins...
Posted by: Julioruano | Friday, February 03, 2012 at 01:51 PM
All the Peyton talk on twitter is driving me nuts. It's like Jessica Alba is dangling her panties in front of my face. The teasing is driving me nuts but I'm gonna reach for it because its crazy not to.
Posted by: _rickrude | Friday, February 03, 2012 at 02:49 PM
Manning is not the answer, man we need a long term solution not a Band-aid. RGIII all day. Trade whatever picks it takes, we'll even throw in lunch with the Ginger himself to sweeten the deal just get it done.
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Friday, February 03, 2012 at 03:03 PM
yeah i don't care about long term dynasty thing. after what 37 years from a super bowl win, or 28 years since the last appearance, i'd take a short term band-aid approach if it meant a run at the big game.
Posted by: Julioruano | Friday, February 03, 2012 at 03:30 PM
I gotta agree with julio. At this point I don't care if they pull a Florida marlins and win the whole thing and sell the team off the next year. Just give me a superbowl.
Posted by: Brodacious | Saturday, February 04, 2012 at 10:48 AM
RGIII is a waste, I repeat do not waste a drat pick on him! Don't listen to this other dumb ass finkle! Anyone who claims that RG3 is a better option than Manning probably watches the Black QB red zone and isn't interested in stats.
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Sunday, February 05, 2012 at 03:52 AM
And on the seventh day, the Lord said, "Let there be a weekender post"
Posted by: aquavision54 | Sunday, February 05, 2012 at 08:46 AM
Dumb ass Finkle? Learn how to spell tool.
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Sunday, February 05, 2012 at 05:01 PM
Have you seen what this team spends it's "drat" picks on? Manning is 36 and busted up. When we pass on RGIII and get to watch RGIII highlights for years after Manning retires and we are back at square 1, your racist ass will see the light... maybe.
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Sunday, February 05, 2012 at 05:06 PM
i like rg3... but he will hope to have a single season in his entire career the likes of what peyton will have when he is 36, 37 & 38 yrs old.
Posted by: Julioruano | Sunday, February 05, 2012 at 11:27 PM
I never thought I would enjoy the day after the Superbowl like I'm enjoying the meltdown in New England today. This almost feels better than when they lost he perfect season.
Posted by: Gersom | Monday, February 06, 2012 at 06:32 PM
Couldn't agree with you more Gersom. I LOVE watching the patsies fans writhe in their agony. They are this decades Bills, except douchier. Leave it to Tawmy to commit the most unmanly penalty in all of football. Intentional gorunding to start the game started my evening off right!
Posted by: El Mocoso | Tuesday, February 07, 2012 at 08:46 AM