Dolphins To Pursue The Other Manning, According to Reports That Will Make Everyone Unreasonably Optimistic

Well, this is something.

According to PFT (via Barry Jackson), if Peyton Manning becomes available this offseason, the Dolphins will go strong to the hoop to get him.

Supposedly, Goose Neck is Plan A for the Dolphins, which also apparently includes going after Matt Flynn, or possibly trading up to nab Robert Griffin Number Three or even Andrew Luck.

I'm calling bullshit on all of this. Mainly because the Honey Badger GM doesn't have the balls to move up the draft to get one of those guys because we need those precious draft picks that it would cost us so we can draft moar Jared Odricks and Koa Misis. 

I'd venture to say these sources are made up, or are just two dudes trying to light a fire under everyone's asses in the front office. In which case I'd say well played, good sirs.

However, the thought of Goose Neck in a Dolphins uniform is certainly intriguing in a THAT GUY WOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME IF ONLY HIS NECK VERTEBRAE WEREN'T SUDDENLY MADE OF PEANUT BRITTLE sort of way.

But I will say that Manning as a Dolphin would be the tits. Sure he might be one vicious hit away from being Stephen Hawking, but fuck it... why the shit not? If he can play, and if he comes here, holy shitcocks that would be pretty fantastic.

And just the mere fact that there are reports that the Fins will be aggressive in getting a francise QB is enough to make us want to fly a banner that reads ALL IS FORGIVEN, YOU GINGER SHIT! over Sun Life stadium.

Until then, however, he can fuck himself with a hammer. 

Comments

[Dat Roro Kid]

This post x one million.

[Vman]

Manning.....Like I said before.....If we sign him, his head will literally fall off....That's how we roll.

Also, The Honey Badger is at the senior bowl, interviewing the players. We need a "is your mother a whore?" update.

I'd pay to have you Fly him behind a plane at this point.
Ginger Prick.

[Vinbob]

If we had a FinsNation plane, we could fly a banner over the Senior Bowl...

"Raise Your Hand is Your Mother is a WHORE" - Thx, Jeff Ireland

the plane could just go wherever he goes, w/ a variation of banner messages

This is why Jesus will never let any of us win the Powerball

[Jimmy]

Not me. I am against giving up even a future Koa Misi for Peyton. Again, I don't think he can throw the skinny post blowing air through a straw in a wheelchair. Even if he is cleared, I don't trust Ross' doctors. That fame loving gargoyle will do anything at this point to put fans in the seat. Do I have a better suggestion? No.

Excellent suggestion Vinbob like a Scarlet Letter or a Lisbeth Salandar tattoo.

[Dat Roro Kid]

My overall reaction to the Dolphins lately:

http://www.thecultureconcept.com/circle/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Dowager-Duchess.jpg

/ disapproving Maggie Smith face disapproves

[Vman]

Forget about the airplane banner stuff...Let's get the Goodyear blimp. I'm sure the technology exists to give us a wireless feed right to the blimps mobile message board.

Kind of a twitter blimp.....

Imagine the fun.....

[Vman]

@DRK...Maggie Smith is watching you masterbate.

/I just grossed myself out.

[ckparrothead]

The revolution will not be televised.

[Brigadier Pudding]

Honey Badger don't give a shit.

[I Make The Maps]

First - What the fuck ever, these clowns could never pull something like this off, wasted breath here.

Second - Who knows if he will ever play again, huge risk for potentially a couple more prime years(However I understand that a comatose Manning is better than the past 15 shit sticks we've trotted out).

Third - This is never happening.

[Dat Roro Kid]

Our new HC:

http://looneytunes.wikia.com/wiki/Beaky_Buzzard

[Lady Phin]

I Make The Maps has the best comment today...especially the second point!

LP

[TREVPAC]

Who says the Dolphins are bad at drafting? Tedd Ginn Jr missed yesterdays NFC Championship game with a knee injury and this was the sole reason that the 49ers are not going to the Super Bowl! In retrospect, the Dolphins are draft geniuses! He was well worth the 9th pick of the 2007 draft!
I hope management can dig deep and find this years Tedd Ginn Jr with the 8th or 9th pick! Oh how the future is looking bright for Miami. FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

[LoRyder]

You guys realize just how close it came to having both Tedd Ginn Jr. AND Ricky Williams in a Super Bowl the same year? Dolphins are indeed cursed.

[Jimmy]

Wasn't it Beaky Buzzard who sang, My momma done told me, bring home something for dinner. Well Mr. Philbin, you had better bring home something for dinner or we, the fans of Finsnation will fly a banner over your head or write shit in your underwear and stuff.

I am, as always, hopeful my generations rainbow colored halcyon Dolphin Days have arrived.

[Mike13]

Bear in mind Manning and Marino are BFFs and Manning always has and probably always will admire the RAOG.

So when Manning is playing golf with Dan, do you think RAOG is telling him to go to one of the most racist states in the fucking union? Or is he telling him to go to Miami, where the pussy flows like a river.... of pussy??

[Z-bird]

Dolphins fans need to get winning attitudes.

[Altersreality]

Winning attitudes? Saying that about the Dolphins in the same sentences is like saying chicks with dicks. Sounds right but still isnt fathomable.

[Regina Harris]

I am the wife of current blogger Xavier Harris and this is my first time on here. When I was at work I was unfortunately told that for some bull shit reason, the dolphins were talking about getting broke neck Manning. Id rather have my vagina f'd by a goalpost over and over than have Manning as our QB! As a matter of fact id rather we just kick moar field goals and fist pump our way to a win than risk it with a QB that will never see another Superbowl ever!

[Julioruano]

u guys do realize mc broke neck threw for only 4700 yards in 2010 right?

let's see, little brother and bitter rival playing in your home stadium for the championship... everyone dancing on your grave like you are done with, the team you have given everything for tossing you out like trash...

if, and that is a big if, mc broke neck is actually healthy, good god i think he is going to unleash some holy hell on the nfl. it'd be nice for once in the past 15 years, if we had that kind of bad ass again throwing the football for the fins.

[Salvadore Dalai Lama]

As usual, it takes the living incarnation of the Buddha to see this whole thing in perspective. You see, we still have a shot at getting the most coveted free agent on the market: CHAD HENNE!

/ ummmghmmg

um...I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth...ewww.

/ begins to hum "Rocket Man"..."burnin' up his fuse up here alone..." And indeed those are the real lyrics? I looked them up and evidently they are. FN really is the inspiration for so many soul-journeys and discoveries about ourselves. I love you guys (and gals)!! But, I guess I have to..under the whole 'infinite compassion' bullshit I singed up for when I got this whole Lama gig. But at least the benefits are good...the whole 'eternal salvation' thing...oh and knowing the secrets of the universe, that too.

Seriously...CHAD HENNE!!!

And I love this fuckin' site. Laughing out loud to comment after comment is such a joy. No need to weed out the bullshit.

Go Phin-eous Philbin! and go Chad Henne...to the Jets. {snicker}

[Mike13]

I'd hate to break up the epic bitchfest but Mark Duper was doagnosed with Renal Cancer

[I Make The Maps]

Regina --

Well played on your first comment, nice visual.

[Dat Roro Kid]

Wow. Regina wins for first best comment ever. Hilarious!

[TREVPAC]

Very lovely visual indeed! I've been stroking my schlong since I read it. But now the real question is Regina willing for ATM with the goalpost? That's how you can identify a keeper.

[Xavier Harris]

That's my girl....

[Studio WI]

Hi Regina-

Would that be a HS field goal post? Or an NFL field goal post?

[Ray Finkle]

Despite all of Regina's newfound fan base comments I must say that I am okay with the concept of us getting Big Head/Little hat for a season or 2 so long as the ginger checks his neck out real thorough like ya know?! Otherwise I say trade the farm for Luck or RGIII, but we must have a QB this year no excuses you punk rock bitches!! I find it funny that comments out of Ireland as of late are all about rebuilding the O-line, getting an explosive TE, and a franchise QB ... you would think he finally subscribed to this blog... such a faggot

[Mike13]

Dear Regina: Take pictures

[ckparrothead]

Do you pronounce that Reh-jee-na, or Reh-jai-na?

[KillerFin]

I'll take Manning in a wheelchair, personally.

[Jessie Z!]

As long as he impregnates Venus or Serena and we get the rights to the offspring I'm in.

[Jimmy]

You like Reh-jee-na I like Reh-jai-na, let's call the whole thing off.

[Gersom]

Lady Phin I'm here to defend your honor. I see this guys go crazy over the new chick on the block (blog). I prefer the girl I kn SQUIRREL!!!

/still sniffin'

[Lady Phin]

Awww thanks Gersom : ) i miss our flirty banter!

///opens shirt, flashes Gersom

LP

P.S. I hope you horndogs didn't scare Regina off!