« Your Jeff Fisher Friday Edition Update News Update (UPDATE!) | Main | And the f**kery continues into phase 2.... »
It's not like I'm some troglodytic newb...I'VE GOT OVER 5,300 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!
Just keep your hands off my trusty flint knife and be careful with any archers in the stands during away games. Not sure I can handle another blindside attack. I'm extremely fragile these days. JUST LOOK AT ME!
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Apparently his time spent in the Ötztal Alps helped him literally resemble someone from the Copper Age. Just look at that golden skin tone!
Does he get his own golf cart too?
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 01:19 PM
+1 on all golfcart jokes
Posted by: Dat Roro Kid | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 01:39 PM
Thanks for updating....I was getting tired of seeing Jeff Fisher on this site....Although, I would have prefered some tits and ass pics, but the mummy will do.
Posted by: Chris | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 01:52 PM
Oh, and the mummy is prequalified for the Dolphins job.....he seems to have perfect form on the fist pump.
Posted by: Chris | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 01:53 PM
Even the mummy knows it's now a pass-heavy league.
Posted by: FanHell | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 01:55 PM
Ewwww...You need to work on yer fistpump, but you'll get it. When can you start?
Posted by: El Mocoso | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 01:55 PM
Otzi would work circles around Ireland, he would wrap his head in with a fuckin' wratchet.
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 02:32 PM
Oh to be a fly on the wall when a player complains to Coach Otzi that it's too cold during a game in New England or Buffalo.
Posted by: THE DUDE | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 02:38 PM
I'm glad you tagged the picture. I thought it was Mike Shanahan at first.
Posted by: Warthog | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 02:53 PM
I'm convinced that our beloved Miami Dolphins are cursed and that we're in the midst of a Boston Red Sox/Chicago Cubs type run. We just don't have a fancy name like The Curse of the Bambino or The Curse of the Billy Goat. So management is bound to fuck up the next head coach thing. I believe Ross and Jeff Ireland (Draft Wizard) will hire Jeff Ireland to be our next head coach! How else can he make sure his draft day wizardry makes it onto the field next season? Plus no one else seems to want to work with him. What a great GM and head coach pair that will be, Ireland & Ireland!!!!!!!
Posted by: Trever Helgren | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 05:40 PM
How about The Curse of the Marino???
Posted by: Gersom | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 06:15 PM
I'm surprised nobody has suggested my top candidate for the job, Omar Kelly. Haven't you guys seen X's and Omar? Plus, we would not need a QB with Omar, or other skill players because we know Omar's not about watching the ball. He'd fit right in with the Ginger's philosophy.
I thought the Otzi photo was Tony Dungy at first.
Curse of the Marino was my thought exactly Gersom.
Posted by: Jimmy | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 06:41 PM
Looks like Marty S. was hanging out with the kids from the Jersey Shore in a ploy to look younger. Too much GTL & smush room.
- Curse of the Don
Posted by: Dolphan Lundgren | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 07:04 PM
Well now that the Dolphins have narrowed it down to 3. Who do you all want? I know the answer is none of 'em.....but just pick one of these assholes!
A. Todd Bowles Movement
B. Joe Regis Philbin
C. Mike The Real McCoy
Posted by: Chris | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 07:29 PM
curse of the lobster traps
Posted by: Julioruano | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 08:32 PM
Man look at that deathly stare.
Posted by: aquavision54 | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 09:11 PM
In other news, Mike Nolan took a DC job with the Falcons...
Posted by: aquavision54 | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 09:14 PM
No GOOD coach wants to join our little circus, not with those 2 ass clowns in charge !!!! oh well....fuck it !!!
Posted by: D | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 11:17 PM
Why does it look like Otzi is checking his invisible watch?
Posted by: Mike13 | Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Otzi was throwing up the dub while attempting to block the very strike that bludgeoned his ass to death and left him cold as ice...paradiiieese. And my vote for the next coach is Philbin I guess but I would settle for Pee Wee Herman at this point. At least then He and Jarod Odrick can do the "Pee Wee" TD dance never.
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Wednesday, January 18, 2012 at 12:57 AM
P.S. We the people need to make a pact to not buy anything Dolphin related until they work this shit out
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Wednesday, January 18, 2012 at 12:58 AM