Your Jeff Fisher Friday Edition Update News Update (UPDATE!)

Nothing.

As you were....

Update: Peter King is reporting that Fisher has decided to go to the Rams.

But all the waiting was so totally worth it, you guys.

Comments

[Tom-Ass]

Jeff Fisher owns Ceiling Cat:
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/638/Ceilingcat.jpg

[ckparrothead]

LMFAO! Love the picture of Fisher in fatherly disapproval.

It's the 13th...Marino Day. Hoping for some good news.

[Z-bird]

MIIIIIIIIKE NOLANNNN?!??!???!!??

[Brigadier Pudding]

PriscoCBS: Fisher to me on importance of running: I said what happens when you get a holding penalty and it's 1st-and-20. Fisher: You run it harder.

Jeff Fisher's offense is stuck in the same decade as his hair style.

[QBStokes4]

fuck ireland. its cuz they wouldnt give Fisher power in the organization. #FIRELAND ..get it trending on twitter

[Vman]

Fisher has chosen the Rams.....They are talking about it on the radio here right now.

GOOD....Fuck him.

[Vman]

Ross is left holding his Dick once again.....What the Fuck is wrong with these ass holes?

[Ikathyv]

Can we get Tom Selleck now? He'd totally be impressed with a helicopter!

[Brigadier Pudding]

Fuck Ireland but fuck this guy too. Go look back through his Titans drafts. They were total shit for the most part. Dude doesn't deserve final say.

[Ray Finkle]

hahahaha This owner is a complete and total moron!! Why the hell would you fasten your franchise to an anchor like Ireland and let it sink to the murky depths of this shithole. What's next?! I think Ted Brogan is available, he coached a little minor league in the 80's... good lord here we go again... get ready to be BEATEN by field goals twice a year now.

[Vman]

Is it too late to get tony back?

[Jason P]

I couldnt be happier of the news this coach who has never really accomplished anything in 17 years of coaching is not coming to Miami...who conincidentlly hasnt really accomplished anything in 17 years...

[Julioruano]

this is all about defining the supreme power within the organization to the ayatollah ginger!

all coaches must bow before the supreme one!

[Chris]

We've wanted a creative offense. Chip Kelly, anyone???

[THE COON]

Bring back Shula!

[Vman]

I vote for Zimmer.
He turned down the Nebraska Job Years Ago
And he called Bobby Petrino a "Gutless Bastard" for leaving the Falcons.
My Kind of guy.....

Chud would work too

[Trever Helgren]

If you mix a coach who hasn't accomplished anything in 17 years and a franchise that hasn't accomplished anything in more than 17 years, wouldn't that cause some sort of post apocalyptic matrix? I'm thinking the results would be like in Ghostbusters when the Gate Keeper and the Key Master met up. A 100 foot Stay Puft Marshmallow Man rumbling down the streets of Miami! And who would want that? Disaster averted for now. Let's get Chip Kelly!!!!!!

[A Facebook User]

Fuck it...I heard "black jack" mckeon's got some free time lets call him up...worked for the fish

[Dat Roro Kid]

Great news but just goes to show how shitty everything about our franchise is. We're so ugly, no one will go on a date with us.

[ckparrothead]

Unfortunately I've been told that the Dolphins really have no interest in any college coaches, including Chip Kelly.

Mystery candidate interviews Saturday. I bet it's a good one! (fart noise)

[Tom-Ass]

I sure hope Ross & Ireland (and Peterson) read the writing on the wall. It says "YOU ARE A JOKE AND RUNNING AN ENTERTAINMENT CIRCUS DISGUISED AS A PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TEAM!"

Since Ross has made is abundantly clear who he wanted, and lost for the 2nd time in 2 years as owner, there are ZERO highly-visible coaching candidates that will take this job knowing they weren't the best or first choice.

From here, let's just promote Mike Nolan go put this shit to bed.

[BERNARD]

Fuck him and his YMCA mustache

NEXT!!!

[Julioruano]

following the dolphins feels like im watching an episode of portlandia.

[Brigadier Pudding]

I'm guessing the mystery candidate is either Tom Olivadotti or Kippy Brown.

[Chris]

Just read in the Miami Herald that he was our's for the taking but Ross would not give him veto power over Jeff Ireland. I'm totally convinced Ireland has something on Ross. Proof he has a vagina, that he dresses in drag, or that he's dating Penn State's Jerry Sandusky. Also, second year in row that reports have us getting a certain guy and it falling apart in final stages of negotiation. Sell the fucking team, Ross. You're an embarrassment to all of us. FUCK YOU!

[Tom-Ass]

LOL @ Brigadier Pudding!

[PopCultureSpin]

I argued with a zombie fan who actually thinks Jeff Ireland has done a great job and found a lot of "talent".....Who knew Sloth from the Goonies reproduced so much? "HEEYYY YOU GUUUYYYS Jeff Ireland is amaziiiiiing!"

And this zombie Dolphin fan said this isn't the longest stretch of losing seasons, 4-12, 9-7 and 6-10 was also 3....yes they thought 9-7 was a losing season.

9-7 never looked so fucking good compared to this current disaster.

[PopCultureSpin]

By they way, said Zombie/Sloth offspring person is "animal2020" on ThePhinsider over on SBnation.

Just in case you want to read some of the Ireland love from Sloth Jr.

[THE COON]

IS THERE SOME SORT OF PETITION WE CAN START TO HAVE JEFF REMOVED? OR SHALL WE HAVE ONE OF OUR MEMBERS USE THEIR CONNECTIONS IN MIAMI TO HAVE HIM REMOVED? LOL

WASN'T THERE SOMETHING ON HERE PREVIOUSLY SAYING MANGINA WAS CONSULTING ROSS ON FOOTBALL DECISIONS...I HOPE TO GOD THEY DONT HIRE MANGINI

[ckparrothead]

Hopefully the next couple of coaches they interview include Rick Dennison, Chuck Pagano and Vic Fangio.

[HunztheMighty]

Ok i think this is a better senario. We get Philbin, his offense in Green bay seems to work pretty well. He is the lever that brings in Matt Flynn. Our offense improves dramaticaly. We keep Nolan for our defense and basically we are now a playoff contender. Ohh PS this means we dont have to blow draft picks to trade up to grab a QB. We use them for another wideout and in the second round grab a right tackle and int he 3 get a recieving tight end. Problems solved everything is sunshine and lollipops.

Mr Ross im available for hire.

[ckparrothead]

Can we just start thinking of childish but creative names for various Dolphins front office personalities? I think it'll be therpeutic. I'll start.

willowy oak vagina

rancid queef muzzle

[Matty]

Douche McDouchey (he's Irish)

willowy oak vagina sounds like a delicious new pinot grigio from Marino Estates Vintage 13.

[Vman]

@ck
mediocre coach cumdumpster
blue waffle licker
ginger twat waffle

W.O.V is awesome

[Gersom]

As a Miami Dolphins fan, I must say watching this front office operate and thinking about how they'll do in the future makes me want to Romney. Why are we so fucked??? What did Miami do to deserve this? Was it Scarface? Was it Miami Vice? Really!!! What was it???

/romney(v). To deficate in terror.

[Matty]

Reading my earlier post I feel I need to clarify. I wasn't referring to Ireland because unless you're the guy fighting Mel Gibson in a cage and Tina Turner is watching you get that Ireland's Irish. I was thinking more along the lines of a ginger, sitting in a cubicle, eating his ear wax, that has the brain power of Milton from office space.
"WHO RUNS DOLPHINTOWN?!"
"GINGER RUN DOLPHINTOWN!"

[Ray Finkle]

I blame Einhorn... Wait Finkle is Einhorn oh snap!

[Ray Finkle]

I must say this is now the second time Ross was the highest bidder and still lost out because of that Ginger poop cutter Ireland... First harbaugh who has already proven his greatness with a playoff appearance in his first year with Alex smith no less! I think we need to fly a second banner that reads...on second thought sell the team you dipshit!!!

[El Mocoso]

The worst part of this is not landing HEFFFF, cuz fuck him. The worst is how firmly entrenched Ginger Fireland is in OUR teams' organization. This fucking guy must be the Gargoyle's fucking bastard child who was conceived during one of the Gargoyles' 1969 oat soaring quests in the highlands of Scotland.

[Tom-Ass]

Spotted on some omar article comments....

Ross money I’ll do anything for you. Ross money just tell me what you want me to. Ross money nail me up against the wall. Ross money don’t want everything he wants control.

no you can’t take it
no you can’t take it
no you can’t take that away from me
no you can’t take it
no you can’t take it
no you can’t take that away from me

head like a hole. irelands dark soul I’d rather die than give you control. head like a hole. irelands dark soul. I’d rather die than give you control

[D]

This organization is the laughing stock of the NFL. We gotta hit Ross in the only place he understands....His wallet !!!!! Don't buy anything Dolphins related, especially tickets !!!! If he isn't making any money, he will sell quickly. and this nightmare will be over.

[Syed Zafar]

I am not happy with his walking away from us the way he did....however we can't give up total control to a head coach that has NEVER had total control in his life. I don't think the GIANTS, PACKERS or STEELERS would sacrifice the integrity of their franchises for ONE guy!!!

For once I am glad that our owner had the balls to be loyal to his guy and not clamor to the same people that:

1) Ran Shula out of town
2) Were ok with giving Jimmy TOTAL CONTROL
3) Were ok with giving Wanny TOTAL CONTROL
4) Were ok with giving Cam Scameron TOTAL CONTROL
5) Wanted to trade away picks for Kyle fucking Orton!!!

See a pattern here????

TOTAL FUCKING CONTROL DOESN'T WORK UNLESS YOU BRING A FUCKING QUARTERBACK WITH YOU!!!!

By the way...they only way we give up total control to JEFF FISHER is if he has Peyton Manning hiding in his crappy mustache.

[Gersom]

@Syed: I have to agree with you. I can't name a single team that has given the HC total control and had a good operation. So in that vain, I'm okay with the Pornstache walking. I just hate the fact that we are still stuck with the Ginger. Maybe he'll make me change my mind this coming draft. But, I'm kinda doubting that.

Would love to have either one of the 2 top QB in the draft but I don't think the Ginger is interested in giving up alot of picks for either 1 of them. I'm not completely sold that Indy will grab Luck if Manning is healthy and they've already paid him the bonus. STL won't go after a QB and Minn most likely would be willing to strike a deal. They're not going after a QB either. Just my opinion.

[Vman]

Slow news day.....

Rumours of Shott Sr. interviewing. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm sure he could deal with the ginger.....he worked for that dick GM in SD.

[Ray Finkle]

Our next coach will not matter, Matt Moore is out QB and Jeff Ireland our GM it's time to climb into the old Walt Disney capsule and freeze our fuckin brains and wake up in a couple decades when this team is ready to compete and Jeff Ireland's ashes have been spread all over a throng of shitty turtles marching up and down the beaches of the Galapagos isles.

[Z-bird]

To all you haters:

Niners won with a D and good ground game:. We are closer than u think mfckas

[Ray Finkle]

...and a game changer named Harbaugh

[Ray Finkle]

...or rather a game changer with a firm hand shake named Harbaugh

[Salvadore Dalai Lama]

I hear Jerry Sandusky is available.

[Julioruano]

niners won a home playoff game, yippeeeee!!! throw them a parade...

the jets. behind their great d, are putting up their back to back afc championship loser banners up this week too.

winning a game or 2 in the playoffs is a whole different thing than winning the super bowl.

[Z-bird]

Cant remember the last time we won a playoff game. Lamar Smith v. Colts?

[Z-bird]

Giants... Behind strong running and defense beat pass happy Packers.

Defense wins championships, maybe.

[aquavision54]

Wait, so you guys are saying there are games after the regular season??

[Jimmy]

?Glad the owner has a pair, and stood his ground, YES, maybe, probably, it depends.

Is this a good team without a QB and a HC, yes?

What is a good team without a QB and a HC? 6-10.

[Ray Finkle]

ding ding ding!! That's thinking with yer dip stick Jimmy!!

[Ray Finkle]

Zbird must not have seen Eli air it out to Hakeem nicks multiple times for scores, not to mention all the passes that Cruz caught, ground and pound plus defense wins games in the 80s not today bro.

[Jessie Z!]

Yea actually the Niners won cuz Alex Smith was, if only for five minutes, a franchise QB. The defense gave up 16 in the 4th.

[Z-bird]

Im just pissed and irrational.

[I Make The Maps]

Fisher Schmisher... he's had 6 winning season in 17 years, fuck that guy.

Schott Sr is actually a good coach, kind of old for my liking, but he's only had 6 losing season in 22 years. Remember, he was fired after going 14-2. I am aware his playoff record leaves something to be desired, but it sure would be nice to actually.. you know.. get to the playoffs, which he tends to do. However, it seems like he's going to want to drag his son around with him and I don't know how I feel about being stuck with Jr when Sr retires.

The real point is - our HC doesn't matter if we don't have a stud QB. Anyone who thinks differently is deluding themselves.

If we're going to be stuck with Ireland for a while longer, and it looks like we are, then the only important thing is what goes on in the draft. Either we trade up, or trade for a QB, but it has to happen. If they don't make this move this year, there's no reason to even bother watching next season, it will end as we all know, in another 7-9 or 6-10 season.

And for fucks sake stop picking up Dallas rejects, stop interviewing Dallas coaches, stop even fucking thinking or talking about anyone you assholes knew while you were in Dallas!!

[Tom-Ass]

Sure, 6 winning seasons in 17 years, but he also endured a franchise relocation. On top of that, he had 2 lost seasons where his team's "home" games were (A) played in Memphis 200 miles away and (B) in Vanderbilt's tiny 38K capacity stadium here in Nashville. So, you can say 6/15 or about 1 in every 2.5 seasons...

Regardless, with him out of the picture, I hope to hell we get either the Saints or Packers OCs. This will (A) open up our offenses and hopefully (B) retain Mike Nolan and his 3-4 defense which is pretty good when the secondary isn't shitting itself...

[I Make The Maps]

What's the deal with Nolan?? I like the idea of retaining him, but if you're sure-fire going to retain him, why isn't he at least interviewing for HC?

The defense, along with the whole team, clearly played better at the end of the year, and most of the important pieces should be coming back.

Anyone know how long he's under contract? Along with not interviewing here, I don't recall his name being mentioned for interviews anywhere. With the way the league likes to recycle coaches that seems odd, isn't it about his turn to get the HC gig somewhere again? Does he not want it, or does the league not want him?

[Jessie Z!]

I wanted Fisher. I thought he could have made us a little better, but obviously we were only going to be so good until either Moore improves or we find a franchise QB.

I am glad they didn't offer him full power though. Belechick, Carrol and Shanahan are the only coaches to have that power. None of them should. I know Bill gets his nuts massaged daily, but his drafts aren't very good and his last great FA move was Randy Moss 5 years ago. Oh wait...that's when Pioli was still GM, so I guess Bill's great moves were uh Haynesworth? Ochocinco?

As for Ireland, I ponied up the airplane cash because I don't know if I like him as a person. I dont know him personally obviously, but he seems pompous. As a GM, I think he's above average. Not great, but he is young in his GMing days. I'm not going to say he made the good picks and Parcells made the bad picks...I will give him full credit for all picks.

Honestly I think he's been decent, and most importantly improving. Yes, it does bother me that his only two home runs are offensive lineman, but I think there is quality in his other choices too. The defense is leaps and bounds better since he has come here, and most believe the offense has potential with a stud QB. Everyone wants to criticize the Pat White pick, which was a bust, but it showed he had the balls to take a chance and I can live with that. There have been other bad choices too of course, but after he finds the unstoppable franchise QB, those will be forgotten. Just ask Bill Belechick.