ESPN's Adam Schefter tweeted it out. Former Green Bay Packers OC Joe Philbin is the new head coach of your Miami Dolphins.
So, we went from giving HEFFF! helicopter rides, to everyone saying they'd be shocked if we didn't hire The Turtle Coach, to naming Lurch up there the new head honcho.
Our immediate reaction: *queef*
Our next reaction: Feels kinda Cam Camerony.
This most likely means we're going after Matt Flynn and will very much be taking an offensive tackle with our first draft pick.
Cocksocks? Oh yes. Cocksocks.
Your thoughts in the comments.
Who?
Posted by: Brigadier Pudding | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 06:45 PM
I find it absolutely laughable that I was just listening to 790 with Friedo while he had Ben Volin on. Volin was harping on how nobody knows anything and everyone is being kept in the dark about everything, and how it is a very confusing time. Once he gets off the air Schefty comes swooping in with the news. I don't understand how he gets outscooped when HE'S PART OF THE TEAM!!!!!! LMFAO
Posted by: Brian_Asencio | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 06:48 PM
Meh...bring in Tom Clements as Offensive Coordinator, and maybe i'll be excited (only for that to be crushed in a few years when they are all fired for sucking.)
Please let us trade up for RG3 or sign Peyton Manning and make him healthy.
Posted by: PopCultureSpin | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:07 PM
Is he related to Regis? Sorry. I got nothing.
Posted by: Ikathyv | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:07 PM
Is it me or does he have a little Shannon Doherty wonkey-eye going on in that pic? And, for fuck's sake, somebody puh-lease tell scooter to start shaving his melon clean cause he's not fooling anybody with "the monk" look (ring of hair around the sides but nothing on top).
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:15 PM
Cookie Monster googly eyes!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/09/Googly.jpg
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:19 PM
Will this be a winning franchise again??? That's all I care about right now. Hooowwwweeevvvveeerrrrrr!!!!!! If he were to let the right side of his hair grow out, it would probably make for a nice combover.
Posted by: Gersom | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:42 PM
I for one love this hire as i stated in a previous post. I think this gives us a great shot at gettting Flynn as a free agent and installing a Green Bay style offense. Add to this that we wont have to waste draft picks chasing a QB and will be able to fill holes at safety or the oline with picks making the team a contender for the division immediately.
I also think we have a good shot at keep Bowles as our D - coordinator with this hire.
I might be drinking the sunshine and loolipops coolaid but dam i wanna believe and have hope my beloved fins can be great again.
Posted by: HunztheMighty | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:50 PM
is he bringing aaron rodgers with him?
Posted by: Julioruano | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 07:59 PM
I actually think this is the right hire out of the current crop of coordinators and arguably the kind of hire I'd want to make over Jeff "white guy who wants to drink lots of Heineken in islamorada" Fisher. I know the whole son thing is a wild card but at least it's the kind of wild card that should itself evident within the first year of play. I expect Philbin to be a refresher from the boring Parcells regime and at least give us some fucking gunslinging this year.
Best case scenario: we get Matt Flynn, draft defense and play relatively excitingly until we lose to the Ravens in the playoffs next year, after which we draft some offensive weapon the next year to make up for a need we don't yet know we have (my guess is WR.)
Worst case: we keep Matt Moore and go 9-7 but at least lose our games with lots of touchdowns and zero field goal fist pumps.
Posted by: miseducation | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 08:02 PM
BRING BACK BUTT LADY!!! Get Coker off the screen!
Posted by: TheBDHill | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 08:58 PM
How apropos is it that I watched Fargo last night and our new coach is the guy that stuffed Steve Buscemi into a wood chipper. Go figure.
Posted by: Matty | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 09:06 PM
I'm a butt guy and the previous post is right up my alley. Sorry I won't be basking in the sunshine of this recent hire along with you guys. I just can't help going back to where I came from. I like the hire. I'm glad it's finally done. If anybody needs me, you'll find in the Frigo. Maybe I'll have had my fill by morning. You know where I'll be. Later Feeennzzzz up!!!
Posted by: Gersom | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 09:16 PM
Not to mention he fucked with the other DUDE in Lebowski
Posted by: Matty | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 09:16 PM
Regis Philbin's bastard son.
Posted by: Chris | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 09:45 PM
This could turn out great with free agency. Other than the obvious Packer (beavis laugh- I said, Packer), Matt Flynn. Other Green Bay free agents: Jordy Nelson and Jermichael Finley. Could it be?? This front office made a good decision?
Posted by: Chris | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 10:47 PM
I'd rather have Packer retreads tahn Cowboy retreads.
Posted by: Mike13 | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 10:57 PM
In addition to Lurch, he also looks like Megamind.
http://www.boostinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/10-Megamind.jpg
Posted by: LoRyder | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 10:59 PM
didn't this guys son die last week?
maybe this is a smart move by the ginger... hard to be critical of a guy that is dealing with the death of his son.
dick jokes aside, it's hard to be too tough on the guy. he's got the pity factor in his favor bigtime.
Posted by: Julioruano | Friday, January 20, 2012 at 11:49 PM
I have a feeling we got our fudge packed, again.
Can't wait for the annual Finsnation mock draft.
Posted by: Jimmy | Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 12:26 AM
On the bright side, if he sucks, we can call him Failbin. Built in FinsNation insult-nickname, right there.
But seriously the more I looked into him the more I kinda like him as a hire. Not a slam dunk but arguably there was no slam dunk.
Posted by: ckparrothead | Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 03:49 AM
I agree with Mike13 for the love of all that is holy... NO MORE COWPATTIES !!!!!
Posted by: Ray Finkle | Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 05:47 AM
I am an old school DolFan from the orange Bowl Days.
Club level season ticket holder and last year I voted for Ross's management of the Fins with my FEET. Some of my friends that were holders this year are not renewing.
That is how you reason with this tool making the business decisions he is on behalf of the team we knew as the Miami Dolphins. Ross is another carpetbagger who prefers South Beach 'has been' Diva's on stage.
His second fatal mistake was keeping Ireland this year. His first mistake was keeping Ireland last year.
Not getting a big name coach to restore respect in the Dolphin name is more the the same BS we have been living with for several years now.
Just when you didn't think it could be worse, WHAM.
Philbin? Meh. We will see. But I am not optimistic and that is because mealy mouth Ireland is the man behind the backstage show.
I will not be renewing.
Signed: A Native Floridian.
Posted by: D | Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 07:30 AM
I'm OK with this hire. I've been reading about him in non-dolphin biased publications. Seems like a solid guy.
Who knows......Still think the franchise is being run like Stevie Wonder at a batting cage.....but even a blind squirrel finds a nut (acorn) once in awhile.
Posted by: Vman | Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 08:24 PM
After watching the press conference, I am throughly impressed with this guy. Best thing that ever happend to us was Fisher turning us down. Brian Schottenheimer as OC? Are you kidding me? We dodged that bullet. Let the uptempo, high flying offense begin!!!
Posted by: Chris | Sunday, January 22, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Anybody peep the possible new 2012 Fins uni's? I guess Nike is doing their best to Cockpunch Reebok. Either way, Friar Philbin here will FA-buLOUS in the new Miami visor.
http://jockpost.com/nfl-nike-uniforms-2012-real-fake/
Posted by: El Mocoso | Sunday, January 22, 2012 at 01:04 PM
Nice uni's!!! They'd be cool to look at.
Posted by: Gersom | Sunday, January 22, 2012 at 01:51 PM
+1 for "Friar Philbin" to El Mocoso!
Posted by: Tom-Ass | Sunday, January 22, 2012 at 03:12 PM
He looks like Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Posted by: ckparrothead | Monday, January 23, 2012 at 06:06 PM