Inception music makes everything more awesome!
Today is NFL Draft Day and, try as I might, I simply have no fucks to give.
*checks laundry hamper*
*finds a fuck wedged inside a dirty sock*
Ok, fine. Let's do this.
As we all know, the Dolphins have the eighth overall pick tonight. And EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE says we're going to draft Ryan Tannehill with that pick. And while the consensus in the comments of this here Award Winning Dickjoke Blog has been that you don't want them to draft Tannenhill, too bad, because Stephen Ross really, really, really wants us to. So, hey.
Of course, that doesn't mean we will. Not with the good ole Honey Badger GM at the helm. NYAAA!
Tannehill has pros and cons like anybody else. And, if you watched him take softball questions from Jon Gruden in that shitty QB draft show he does every year, you can see that Tanny-hill is a sharp, athletic dude. He's also a pre-med student, which gives us many options in the nicknaming department (The Doctor, The Surgeon, Dr. Kickass, MD, that sort of thing...). You can watch the Gruden-Tannehill QB Confidential thing in its entirety right here (also featured in this video: DVR fast forwarding!).
The obvious thing about tonight is, no matter what the Dolphins do, a lot of people are going to be very angry and a lot of people are going to be happy and a lot of people are going to be "meh."
This is the hole these dipshits have dug for themselves.
Here's a breakdown of Tannehill's game. Decide for yourself whether or not to give a shit or two.
So who are the Dolphins going to draft? I wish I had an answer for you.
But if I did, my answer is they're going to draft a lineman that they'll then release in two years, but that Jeff Ireland will swear is a "pretty darn good player." It’s one of those twist endings that no one will see coming!