Happy National Acorns Day, Everyone!

Clyde Gates, Gary Guyton, WHO ELSE?? WHOOOPEEEEEE!!! Updates here. Yes, I know it’s Armando’s blog but fuuuuuck it. / huffs nitrous like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet Read more »

Dolphins Fall in Final Preseason Game to Finish Winless

Receivers can’t catch the ball, DBs getting called for P.I., can’t rush the passer consistently (even against the Dallas 2′s and 3′s) but Ryan Tannehill didn’t get his head taken off with our boy Feinga protecting his backside.  Winnning? More here and here. FEENZ UUUP, MIIIYAAAMEEEEE Read more »

Your New Starting QB is Gonna Die, So Hey

Jake Long will be out a few weeks because of an MCL sprain during yesterday’s practice session.  His back up, Lydon Murtha (also a gigantorious bag of refried ass), also hasn’t practiced in a couple weeks cuz he is ALSO injured.  So, essentially, Lauren Tannehill’s hairless pristine pink pussy is quivering with fear because big, […] Read more »

Dolphins Trade Vontae Davis

Yesterday your Miami Dolphins decided to trade CB and former 1st rd draft pick, Vontae Davis, for a 2nd rd pick in the 2013 draft.  Obviously, this was a genius move for the Fins considering the wealth of talented, playmaking individuals starting for us at every position coupled with the you might say ‘Vesuvius-like’ depth […] Read more »

Hey Guuuyyys!!!

YA GOTTA ADMIT: IT’S A DAMN WACKY DAY WHEN I’M THE ONLY BEAT REPORTER WITH ANY BALLS, ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS TEAM AND MAKING ACTUAL GODDAMN SENSE. Photo NOW, IF YOU DON’T MIND…I’M OFF TO A KFC/TACO BELL/PIZZA HUT. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: IT TAKES A TOUGH MAN TO COOK A TENDER […] Read more »

Hard Knocks Recappin’

Sorry for the lack of posts around here, Nation. I’ve been buried with work (because Florida is fucked up so there’s a lot of shit to report, you see), and DRK is fighting a Minotaur somewhere in Greece. But, hey, lots of shit happening with our beloved wretched Dolphins. Last night was episode three of […] Read more »

‘Hard Knocks’ Episode 2 Recap

Welp, it was bound to happen sometime. Now both The Dude and I have given in to the singing sirens of that sweet, sweet New Times cheddah.  So please read my recap of Hard Knocks over at their site.  Here’s the link.  Les Brown’s gal thinks you should really, really do it. Don’t wooorrrry.  Everything […] Read more »