Jake Long will be out a few weeks because of an MCL sprain during yesterday’s practice session. His back up, Lydon Murtha (also a gigantorious bag of refried ass), also hasn’t practiced in a couple weeks cuz he is ALSO injured. So, essentially, Lauren Tannehill’s hairless pristine pink pussy is quivering with fear because big, bad, strong-as-an-ox Jonathan Martin (with the kind of punch at the point of attack you’d expect from a kid with Down’s Syndrome) is looking like your new starting Left Tackle to protect our Golden Boy.
So two questions here: 1) Anyone know a good fucking santero to do a serious despojo on this snake-bitten fucking franchise? and 2) How long before Chad Henne somehow ends up starting again for us this year?
/ heats up waffle iron, takes 13 Viagras, unzips pants