If you're a frequent reader of his blog, or perhaps one of many who have been blocked by him on Twitter, then you know that Omar Kelly is the biggest sports writer troll in the history of the Internet.
It's not even close.
And yes, we're talking bigger than Skip Bayless, Michael Wilbon, Jason Whitlock, and Bill Simmons.
Because, as dickish as those assholes can be, the subtle genius of their trolling is that they know they're trolling. They thrive on it, made careers out of it, even have fun with it.
The problem with Omar is that he is so lacking in self-awareness, so caught up with thinking he's smarter than you, and bathed with so much contempt and condescension towards you -- the unwashed masses of poor uneducated football fans -- that his trolling isn't merely playing the villain -- like Simmons or Bayless -- it's that he's a genuine dick, hated by a lot of Dolphins fans, and disrespected by even his own peers.
Be it him touting his fucktarded KILL stat to determine whether a quarterback is any good, talking about how football games are won and lost in THE TRENCHES because look at how abstract am I in my thinking, you puney pieces of shit! Or be it acting like an unprofessional shitheel on Twitter, acting like a tough guy with complete strangers and even insulting one follower by saying he "banged" their mom (that tweet has since been deleted, which is typical pussyfart Omar), Kelly has time and time again, been a total and complete anal fissure.
Which brings us to his blog post from yesterday, where he passive aggressively went after WAARF, while simultaneously fellating himself, putting on his INTERWEBZ GANGSTA persona, and defining what a true real for honest to goodness fan REALLY is. The post really does have everything Omar.
Kate Upton and her amazing tits are here to celebrate Victory Monday with you. Isn't that nice?
(Seriously, Kate Upton's tits are too good. It's like God's very own double-middle fingers at us all. Not cool, God!)
Since these things called "wins" are so damn rare, I figured I'd come back from my FN hiatus for a quick minute and bust out this pic I've been dying to use but needed an excuse to post. So there you have it.
A few quick thoughts on the game:
- LaMontelle looks dinged up and I fear he may not last the whole season. But when he's on the field, it's fucking magicpants and fun as shit watching him olbliterate opposing linebackers' ankles. Here's to hoping he lasts the remainder of the season without a ligament going poof.
- Ryan Tannehill is the balls. Omar Kelly can eat a dick.
- Our secondary still sucks ass, but they came up big yesterday. So props where props are due.
- Tannehill's arrival, the big hawking pile of shit that is the AFC East, and this team's vanilla schedule means the Fins could very well be in the thick of a wild card race at the end. It also means Jeff Ireland is here to stay. Testicle sandwiches all around.
- Hey, you love this blog right? Well now's your chance to keep us relevant and keep our Best Blog In The Universe winning streak alive. FinsNation is up for a first-annual New Times South Florida Web Award (for sports blog).
So much awesome and so much Smithology to yesterday's game. Cam Wake was RIDICULOUS and Tannehill made some incredible strides but them's the breaks when your secondary plays like a bunch of rotting, dead cats.