Your New Starting QB is Gonna Die, So Hey

Jake Long will be out a few weeks because of an MCL sprain during yesterday’s practice session.  His back up, Lydon Murtha (also a gigantorious bag of refried ass), also hasn’t practiced in a couple weeks cuz he is ALSO injured.  So, essentially, Lauren Tannehill’s hairless pristine pink pussy is quivering with fear because big, […] Read more »

Dolphins Trade Vontae Davis

Yesterday your Miami Dolphins decided to trade CB and former 1st rd draft pick, Vontae Davis, for a 2nd rd pick in the 2013 draft.  Obviously, this was a genius move for the Fins considering the wealth of talented, playmaking individuals starting for us at every position coupled with the you might say ‘Vesuvius-like’ depth […] Read more »

Hey Guuuyyys!!!

YA GOTTA ADMIT: IT’S A DAMN WACKY DAY WHEN I’M THE ONLY BEAT REPORTER WITH ANY BALLS, ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS TEAM AND MAKING ACTUAL GODDAMN SENSE. Photo NOW, IF YOU DON’T MIND…I’M OFF TO A KFC/TACO BELL/PIZZA HUT. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: IT TAKES A TOUGH MAN TO COOK A TENDER […] Read more »

Hard Knocks Recappin’

Sorry for the lack of posts around here, Nation. I’ve been buried with work (because Florida is fucked up so there’s a lot of shit to report, you see), and DRK is fighting a Minotaur somewhere in Greece. But, hey, lots of shit happening with our beloved wretched Dolphins. Last night was episode three of […] Read more »

‘Hard Knocks’ Episode 2 Recap

Welp, it was bound to happen sometime. Now both The Dude and I have given in to the singing sirens of that sweet, sweet New Times cheddah.  So please read my recap of Hard Knocks over at their site.  Here’s the link.  Les Brown’s gal thinks you should really, really do it. Don’t wooorrrry.  Everything […] Read more »

Something Better to Look At

Armando Vroomzz nearly gave me cataracts.  So here’s Leanna Decker. The Dude will be along later with a pre-game post. THERE’S FOOTBALL TODAY!!!!1!!1!ONE! (one more after the jump) Read more »

DOLPHINS FOOTBALL IS HERE HOOZZAAHHH

Oh hai Miami Dolphins 2012 season. Hi. Hello. How are you. You’re finally fucking here, and I’m a mess. For some reason, this has felt like the longest off-season ever. Or is it just me? Either way, WELCOME BACK! Alright, Nation… It’s time to get irrationally stupid excited about our new-look football team (until the […] Read more »