Dolphins Fall to Cowboys in Sloppy Premiere

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“PUPPET TWIST ARRRRGGGHHH”

 

Happy Monday, Dolphins fans!

That was a shitty start to the season but, really, what did you expect?  I mean, Michael Egnew was a featured part of the offense and we fumbled on the very first play from scrimmage.  So, yea, it was pretty crappy.

Feel free to read my recap here.

Hopefully Friday against the Jaguars goes much  much better.

DatRoroKid (16 Posts)

Fart Train to Fartsville. Born and raised in da County Dade but living in NYC until I get sick and fucking tired of it (i.e. soon)


8 Responses to “Dolphins Fall to Cowboys in Sloppy Premiere”

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  1. Tom-Ass says:

    Random thoughts:

    1) I have to dump. Oh, wait, these should be random FOOTBALL thoughts. Moving on…

    2) Jon Martin is decent run-blocking, but Jesus, Mary & Joseph this guy sucks donkey balls in pass-pro. Philbin should have him run-block every down, regardless of the play call. Either that or take him & Dallas Thomas into surgery to make them conjoined twins. If this 600 pound, 4-armed, 4-legged OL beast can stop reserve DEs then just put Ireland on waivers now. He could have re-sign Long, but didn’t. Could have traded for Brandon “Fat” Albert, but didn’t. Could have draft LT Lane Johnson in the first round, but chose not to.

    3) Dion Jordan looks legit! While we have a bleeding vagina for a LT that may get RT17 killed, so to shall other team’s QBs die when Wake, Vernon & Jordan come calling. Being able to generate a consistent pass-rush without needing to blitz is one of the biggest reasons why the Giants beat the Pasties in the Super Bowl not once, but twice.

    4) Daniel Thomas still sucks

    5) Egnew still has ZERO career receptions in a real game and that pouty fucking face that makes me think he’s related to Jay Cutler.

  2. El Mocoso says:

    Any player with the last name of Thomas should be cut immediately.
    Apart from the fumble on the very first fucking play, I like the acceleration I saw from Miller, and even Gillislee showed some spark.
    I think we should sign Bumphis to a long term contract simply on virtue of his name being Bumphis. That name describes my feelings as a Dolphin fan for so many years in one word.
    I also think we should sign McNutt, because hey, what other player can we cheer for while at the same time sounding like we love pornographic Value Meals from Mickey D’s?

  3. Meikaela says:

    Hey Chris,

    My name is Meikaela and I’m a Sports Marketing Specialist at Google. I assist influencers in the sports community in creating a strong presence on Google+, with a specific focus on NFL Football.

    Would love to connect with you to discuss Fins Nation, your social media goals moving forward, and some things we’re working on around the sports community here at Google.

    Let me know if you have 15 minutes to connect.

    Looking forward to hearing from you,

    Meikaela

  4. Tannyboy says:

    Hey Meikaela show us your Titties!

  5. riddler1113 says:

    HAHA!

  6. Tom-Ass says:

    Hey Meikaela, or whatever your bot name is, if you knew anything about marketing then you would locate their Twitter handle on the right and send them a direct message. Get out of here with your spammy comments!

    • Jimmy says:

      What’s a twitter?

      Just got around to reading the DRK Miami New Times ruined the pristine sheen of baseball piece. Good stuff DRK. Your writing is ready for the regular season.

      I hope everyone enjoyed their Dolphins only showing on Sunday Football Night in America.

  7. HunztheMighty says:

    Here is my super swammy prediction: Dolphins go undefeated for the rest of the pre season. We finish 10-6 and win the divsion. We loose in the first round of the playoffs.

    Thats right fella’s you heard it here first, call for some kick ass stock tips and advice on wether or not your spouse is cheating on you!

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