It’s Friday, Fuckers

  On Sunday, we’re up against our beloved ONE THAT GOT AWAY, derp-face and dumb voice and all.  : ( Hopefully the O-line gets their shit together and the running backs, you know, run hard and stuff. Bang it here for some keys to the game. Have a great weekend.  God, I love football! Read more »

Dolphins at Browns Open Thread

And here we goooooo Year Two of the Tannehill/Philbin/DearGodWhyIsIrelandStillInCharge?? kicks off today in Cleveland. The Browns are pretty much the Dolphins, except in a shittier town. Also, with shittier helmets. And shittier people, in general. But, otherwise, yea… so today’s game ought to be a fucking delight! As per usual, feel free to leave your […] Read more »

Presenting: The 2013 J.R. Tolver Award

….AND OOOH WHAT MERRIMENT THE LAND DOTH ENJOY…. For today, on this 6th of September, in the Year of our Lord, Omar Kelly, did his most gracious of all Dolphins soothsayers/mother-sexing deities decree that the final, YES FINAL, J.R. Tolver Award Winner for Wide Receivers That Show Promise, Ability, Zeal, Athleticism, Toughness, Discipline, Chutzpah Only […] Read more »

The Preseason is Mercifully Over

Welp, that’s all over and done with.  After 5 pretty painful, pointless games, the Dolphins will kick off the 2013 season next Sunday in Cleveland.  What can we take away from meaningless games involving several men that will be taking Pizza Hut orders in the next week or so?  Well, not much but certainly a […] Read more »

So Long, Dan Carpenter

  Unless you’ve been living in Egypt for the past 24 hours, you’ll know that Dan Carpenter was released by the Dolphins in an effort to save some flowage against the cap and give more reps to 5th round pick, Caleb Sturgis.  Sturgis impressed the shit out of everyone in the Jax preseason game with […] Read more »

Joe Philbin is CRAZY EXCITED for Tonight’s Preseason Game

  Aww yea, GO PHILBIN GO PHILBIN GO!  GO PHILBIN GO PHILBIN GO! Things to look out for tonight: Will Tannyboy be better or SHOULD WE JUST KILL HIM NOW AND BURY HIS BODY IN TROPICAL PARK?? Offensive Line: Caca de dinosario Mike Wallace + Chipmunk = Nu Luk Awfenzzzz FINARRY Defense gonna get all […] Read more »

Dolphins Fall to Cowboys in Sloppy Premiere

  Happy Monday, Dolphins fans! That was a shitty start to the season but, really, what did you expect?  I mean, Michael Egnew was a featured part of the offense and we fumbled on the very first play from scrimmage.  So, yea, it was pretty crappy. Feel free to read my recap here. Hopefully Friday […] Read more »

Dolphins Lose Binns for Season, Looking Elsewhere for WR Help

  The Dolphins lost WR Armon Binns for the season yesterday when Binns went down with a torn MCL and ACL. Binns had been a bit gimpy since Saturday but yesterday the kid finally went down for good, thus losing out on his bid to become the 4th WR on the active roster. Binns was […] Read more »

Brent Grimes Likes His Birthday Cakes

Fins cornerback Brent Grimes had himself a surprise 30th birthday this past Friday thrown by his wife and buddies. And what kind of theme birthday cake do you get a man who is turning the big Three Oh? Why the kind with a lady sucking a dick on it, of course! Turns out, Grimes’ cake […] Read more »

The Dolphins Started Training Camp Yesterday

The Dolphins started training camp yesterday. So far Tannyboy and Wallace haven’t connected on a long TD bomb so everyone’s already started to shit out fried tilapia. It’s Day Two, folks. I’m more worried about Dion Jordan looking less buff than Montell Jordan BUT DAS JUST ME. Give us your impressions thus far in the […] Read more »