In a word, the Dolphins first-team offense has sucked this pre-season. We all see that it sucks. And we call them out on it. We say, "Man Dolphins first-team, you suck!"
But Cam Cameron doesn't give two shits about what you and I think. Because he says they're sort of sucking on purpose.
Cameron says the reason the offense has been so erratic and crappy is because he's only using 20 percent of his plays and is substituting players willy nilly to see who emerges as a starter. And some positions aren't even completely set yet.
"The evaluation of Ronnie Brown is far from over," Cameron said.
Cam is also planning to game-plan for Saturday's game against the Bucs. He plans to have the team watch film and scout Tampa Bay and then open things up during practice. Then, when they play the actual game, they'll go back to their limited play-calling ways.
"We'll show up to the stadium and it's going to look vanilla again," Cameron said. "That will get everybody fired up, won't it?"
Yes. I get it. Let's prepare as if this were the real deal, give it our all in practice, and then get to the stadium on Saturday and act all aloof like we thought we were here to see a Christopher Cross concert when the game starts. Good idea? No. Brilliant idea!
So, if I'm hearing this correctly, and I'd like to think that I am, Cameron's really just fucking with everybody. The Dolphins don't really suck. They're just half-assing it out there so that the players can learn to play better. So come Saturday, I'll just pretend I'm a disgruntled fan, use only 20 percent of my anger at the team so that I can learn to think that this team is playoff bound when the first game of the regular season rolls around.
Look, I know -- hell we all know -- that pre-season is about half-assing the playbook and calling plays you drew up on the shitter that morning and having guys learn their positions and having guys earn starting spots. But what I see is what I see. And what I see is an offensive line that's a complete mess and a Trent Green that looks like Keanu Reeves at the Oscars. You can only fake suck so far. And you can only teach fundamentals so long.
Coach Cam needs not worry that we think the offense is boring. Believe me, coach, we're used to that. What we think is that this team needs a lot of work and that your job is going to be a difficult one. We don't need explanations. We need progress. So, good luck and please fix this as soon as you can, okay? Great.
Oh. And one more thing. Ronnie Brown not the starter? Now you're just feeding us 100 percent bullshit, right?
Right?
