Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Saying Goodbye To JT

As has been well documented here, this is not something I wanted to see happen. But I knew that if an opportunity presented itself, Bill Parcells would indeed trade away our best player to acquire more draft picks. And yesterday, that opportunity came. After the Redskins lost DE Phillip Daniels for the season on a 7-on-7 drill, it was inevitable that they'd come calling about Jason Taylor. Washington offered two draft picks for him. Parcells accepted. And that, as they say, is that. Parcells got what he wanted. Two draft picks, including a second-round pick for next year's draft. Time will tell if those picks will turn into game-changing players and make our team that much better. Until then, all that's left for us is JT's legacy.

Jason Taylor is the greatest defensive player in the history of this storied franchise. He's also arguably its greatest athlete. And, in my opinion, JT is the greatest Dolphin after Dan Marino. The man flat out took over games and was an absolute force of nature on defense. Who can forget the way he'd frustrate Tom Brady every time the two faced off? Who can forget the way he singlehandedly beat the vaunted Chicago Bears two seasons ago? He was our undaunted resident warrior. A man who gave us a shot to win every Sunday and a man whose hatred for the Jets was just as intense as ours. His ability to excite us and get us to believe that no opposing offense was safe -- not as long as he had something to say about it, dammit! -- will be his bequest to all future Dolphins-wannabe-badasses. Quite simply, since Marino's retirement, Jason Taylor was not only the face of the Miami Dolphins. He was the Miami Dolphins.

He was the one constant for this franchise; a guy you knew would end the season with double-digit sacks, no matter how much talent his teammates lacked. The man is just a tall glass of awesome. He makes men blithe and women swoon. He is a sultan of badassery and an ambassador of ass-kickery. He has two speeds: fast and kill. His pulse is measured on the Richter scale. When you put his cock on any vinyl record, it plays The Beatles' Revolution #9, and you actually understand it. His family crest is a picture of a grizzly bear eating Chuck Norris. He is Jason Taylor. The greatest man in the universe.

Sundays just won't be the same.

So long, 99. Good luck and thanks for all the memories.

-The DUDE (self-proclaimed homo-for-JT)

Dolphins Trade Jason Taylor To The Redskins

The Jason Taylor era in Miami is over.

Fox Sports is reporting that the Dolphins have traded JT to the Washington Redskins for a second round pick in 2009 and a sixth-round pick in 2010.

Update: The Dolphins have confirmed the news.

Dolphins Trade Jason Taylor To The Redskins

The Jason Taylor era in Miami is over.

Fox Sports is reporting that the Dolphins have traded JT to the Washington Redskins for a second round pick in 2009 and a sixth-round pick in 2010.

Update: The Dolphins have confirmed the news.

Packers Make Exploratory Inquiry About JT, Which is Just a Fancy Way of Saying They Asked if Miami is Still Actually Asking for a First Rounder

Taking time away from my vacay to post this: A report says that the Packers have made an "exploratory inquiry" about trading for Jason Taylor. And basically this is news because some guys on the coaching staff used to work under Wandstedt in Miami and that the Packers are desperate for a DE because they're not sure when they're going to get Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila and his busted up knee back.

Whatever.

So in other words, the Packers went, "Sup. You guys still wanna trade JT? Because we kinda need a defensive end." And the Dolphins went, "Uh. Yea. Sure. Give us your first round pick, or your second round pick for 2009 and he's all yours." And then the next sound that was heard was the Packers hanging up the line. The end.

And now... back to getting poolside and continuing to astound and amaze the Brazilian ladies I met with my charm, sophistication and wit.... they have no idea I'm a blogger. My name is Fernando and I am a lion tamer. More drinks for the beautiful ladies! Fernando demands it!

Packers Make Exploratory Inquiry About JT, Which is Just a Fancy Way of Saying They Asked if Miami is Still Actually Asking for a First Rounder

Taking time away from my vacay to post this: A report says that the Packers have made an "exploratory inquiry" about trading for Jason Taylor. And basically this is news because some guys on the coaching staff used to work under Wandstedt in Miami and that the Packers are desperate for a DE because they're not sure when they're going to get Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila and his busted up knee back.

Whatever.

So in other words, the Packers went, "Sup. You guys still wanna trade JT? Because we kinda need a defensive end." And the Dolphins went, "Uh. Yea. Sure. Give us your first round pick, or your second round pick for 2009 and he's all yours." And then the next sound that was heard was the Packers hanging up the line. The end.

And now... back to getting poolside and continuing to astound and amaze the Brazilian ladies I met with my charm, sophistication and wit.... they have no idea I'm a blogger. My name is Fernando and I am a lion tamer. More drinks for the beautiful ladies! Fernando demands it!

Bill Parcells Open to Having JT Back

 
Perhaps there's more to Bill Parcells than meets the eye. Perhaps old age has softened him up a bit. Perhaps he realized that all this bickering with Jason Taylor is just a pointless and needless distraction.

Or perhaps Parcells reads FinsNation and was swayed by my eloquent counterpoints on why he was in the wrong, and was moved to take action. Because, deep down, he knew I had made some pretty good points. Like when I called him a fatass cocksucker. I can be very articulate and persuasive. It's a gift, really.

Bill Parcells Open to Having JT Back

 
Perhaps there's more to Bill Parcells than meets the eye. Perhaps old age has softened him up a bit. Perhaps he realized that all this bickering with Jason Taylor is just a pointless and needless distraction.

Or perhaps Parcells reads FinsNation and was swayed by my eloquent counterpoints on why he was in the wrong, and was moved to take action. Because, deep down, he knew I had made some pretty good points. Like when I called him a fatass cocksucker. I can be very articulate and persuasive. It's a gift, really.

Apparently, Tony Sparano Thinks JT is a True Dolphin

Tony Sparano would like to remind Bill Parcells that, while he is free to play all the macho head-games with Jason Taylor his Man-Tits desire, and enforce his insufferable authority over everyone, especially over the biggest name on the team, so that no one forgets who's really in charge around here, that it will, in fact, be Sparano's ass if the team doesn't win games. Therefore, it might be a good idea to keep as many of the good players that are currently listed on the team's roster, regardless of their choice of off-season extra curricular activities and stuff.

Just a suggestion.

Apparently, Tony Sparano Thinks JT is a True Dolphin

Tony Sparano would like to remind Bill Parcells that, while he is free to play all the macho head-games with Jason Taylor his Man-Tits desire, and enforce his insufferable authority over everyone, especially over the biggest name on the team, so that no one forgets who's really in charge around here, that it will, in fact, be Sparano's ass if the team doesn't win games. Therefore, it might be a good idea to keep as many of the good players that are currently listed on the team's roster, regardless of their choice of off-season extra curricular activities and stuff.

Just a suggestion.

Dwight Freeney Disagrees With Bloggers and Fan Forums

Unlike some Dolphins bloggers and fan forum members, current and former NFL players are siding with JT on this whole fiasco.

Colts Pro Bowl defensive end Dwight Freeney says that Taylor should get a little more respect than he's getting: "He is the face of the franchise. Before him it was Dan Marino. When I think of Miami, I think of Jason Taylor."

Anthony Munoz, former Bengals offensive lineman and current member of the NFL Hall of Fame, said a player with JT's track record shouldn't be criticized for skipping training camps: "At that age you don't need the beating that you take in camp. I know a lot of coaches and GMs won't like me for this, but at that point in your career if you can just get in a get a little bit (of work before the regular season) it's fine. You do need (live action), but I don't think four, five, six weeks is key at this stage."

Who the hell does Anthony Munoz think he is? So he's regarded as one the best left tackles in NFL history. Pft. Bloggers and fan-forum members will be the judges of Jason Taylor and will decide if he is a true Dolphin or not, thank you very much. I think we have the credentials. Sure, Munoz played 13 seasons in the NFL and is forever immortalized with a bust in Canton. But we have computers and Internet access and stuff. Dwight Freeney has 60 career sacks so far and can probably strangle a grown man with one of his arms. Bloggers and forum members love to eat frosting out of a can with our fingers. Plus, our favorite porn sites are bookmarked under the title "DavidCook.com" so our moms don't find out.

Advantage: Bloggers and fan forum members. Clearly.