Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Stephen Ross: 50% Owner, 100% Stud

The Wall Street Journal has a Q & A with new Fins owner Stephen Ross.

Asked if he has any concerns about working with Parcells, a man who is known to butt heads with NFL owners, Ross says: "He's head of football operations and he has a track record. I'm certainly not planning on interfering with him."

Not asked: What he plans to do about his incredible shrinking head.

Stephen Ross: 50% Owner, 100% Stud

The Wall Street Journal has a Q & A with new Fins owner Stephen Ross.

Asked if he has any concerns about working with Parcells, a man who is known to butt heads with NFL owners, Ross says: "He's head of football operations and he has a track record. I'm certainly not planning on interfering with him."

Not asked: What he plans to do about his incredible shrinking head.

A Day of Mourning Here at FN

My favorite sci-fi movies deal with post-apocalyptic themes, like Blade Runner, Escape From New York, The Road Warrior and, the granddaddy of them all: Planet of the Apes (No, not that shitty Tim Burton version with Marky Mark. The original 1968 version.) and it's 1970 sequel, Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

So it is with great sadness that we at FN say a fond adieu to the great Charlton Heston. Sure, to most he'll forever be Moses or Ben-Hur or that really old guy that liked guns and hated the gays and rapper Ice-T. But he'll always be Taylor to me. Taylor befriended the benevolent apes who sought truth and freedom and fought the oppressive apes with their old way of thinking and their stringent rules on ignoring the past, all the while scoring a pretty hot piece of ass. The last woman alive and she's hot and mute!? Shee-it!! I can't wait for the future!

Taylor was a badass. And so was Heston.

God Speed, Taylor.

A Day of Mourning Here at FN

My favorite sci-fi movies deal with post-apocalyptic themes, like Blade Runner, Escape From New York, The Road Warrior and, the granddaddy of them all: Planet of the Apes (No, not that shitty Tim Burton version with Marky Mark. The original 1968 version.) and it's 1970 sequel, Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

So it is with great sadness that we at FN say a fond adieu to the great Charlton Heston. Sure, to most he'll forever be Moses or Ben-Hur or that really old guy that liked guns and hated the gays and rapper Ice-T. But he'll always be Taylor to me. Taylor befriended the benevolent apes who sought truth and freedom and fought the oppressive apes with their old way of thinking and their stringent rules on ignoring the past, all the while scoring a pretty hot piece of ass. The last woman alive and she's hot and mute!? Shee-it!! I can't wait for the future!

Taylor was a badass. And so was Heston.

God Speed, Taylor.

Hey

Hey.

Nothing much going on today.

Hey.

I'll just post some random SI Swimsuit pictures. Because what the hell, right?

Hey.

Did you know Elle Macpherson gave me my first real boner? I was 7.

Hey.

I'll be posting my first Fins mock draft tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that. And now the pics, as promised (click image for bigger view).

Hey

Hey.

Nothing much going on today.

Hey.

I'll just post some random SI Swimsuit pictures. Because what the hell, right?

Hey.

Did you know Elle Macpherson gave me my first real boner? I was 7.

Hey.

I'll be posting my first Fins mock draft tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that. And now the pics, as promised (click image for bigger view).

The Dolphins Done Some Good

For the past decade or so, our Dolphins have managed to excel at the art of sucking ass. And not hot ass either. I'm talking rain forest baboon ass.

So, as a result, most posts on this here blog mainly contain Dolphins news along with a few dick jokes. It numbs the pain.

But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this:

"Dolphins tackle Vernon Carey, ex-Dolphins fullback Rob Konrad... were the big-name winning bidders in the annual Make-A-Wish Ultimate Sports Auction on Tuesday night at the Broward County Convention Center... [the event] drew several prominent athletes, including Dolphins quarterback John Beck...The event raised $240,000 to grant wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions. About 600 people attended the event, which was emceed by NBC and HBO sportscaster Bob Costas."

All the money raised at the event went to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is very kick ass.

So it's a slow day for the Fins, news-wise. But Carey and Beck did their part to help kids with life-threatening medical conditions. And that, my friends, is a whole other level of baddasery.

Meanwhile, I held my own private auction. The winner? The lady in this video. The prize? My heart.

(Thanks to reader Nate for the video. And for having time in his day to find such videos and then for some reason sending them to me.)

The Dolphins Done Some Good

For the past decade or so, our Dolphins have managed to excel at the art of sucking ass. And not hot ass either. I'm talking rain forest baboon ass.

So, as a result, most posts on this here blog mainly contain Dolphins news along with a few dick jokes. It numbs the pain.

But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this:

"Dolphins tackle Vernon Carey, ex-Dolphins fullback Rob Konrad... were the big-name winning bidders in the annual Make-A-Wish Ultimate Sports Auction on Tuesday night at the Broward County Convention Center... [the event] drew several prominent athletes, including Dolphins quarterback John Beck...The event raised $240,000 to grant wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions. About 600 people attended the event, which was emceed by NBC and HBO sportscaster Bob Costas."

All the money raised at the event went to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is very kick ass.

So it's a slow day for the Fins, news-wise. But Carey and Beck did their part to help kids with life-threatening medical conditions. And that, my friends, is a whole other level of baddasery.

Meanwhile, I held my own private auction. The winner? The lady in this video. The prize? My heart.

(Thanks to reader Nate for the video. And for having time in his day to find such videos and then for some reason sending them to me.)

Jason Taylor Is My Friend. Maybe.

 

Apparently, Jason Taylor has supposedly, maybe just set up a MySpace page to keep his fans abreast on his Dancing With the Stars venture. And look who he�s got as his number one friend! (after the official Dancing With the Stars page).

Of course, this may not even be real. This could very well be a well orchestrated plot by some deviant who is trying to entice me into a MS chat room where he�ll make me e-mail him pictures of me in my swim trunks. Then exploit my weakness for Oreos and make me meet him at a motel where he will then show me the �Oreo� he has for me in his pants (U LV OREO? OMG ME 2! LOL). But I�ll bring Chris Hanson along, so it�s cool.

Or maybe it�s real. Maybe Jason Taylor is a fan of FinsNation. No one in the blogosphere worships him more than I do. So I've got that going for me. And FinsNation is the top fan site on his official website (number one of three, bitch!). However, there�s also no mention of this MySpace page on his website. So who knows. Meh, fuck it. I�m just going to pretend it�s real.

I'm friends with the baddest of the badasses, I am!

Know who else I'm friends with? Leonard Nimoy. Yep. I went to a Star Trek convention a couple of years ago and he was on stage and did that Vulcan greeting thing with his hand and he smiled and looked right at me. I was like, whoa. Spock smiled at me! The guy who played Mr. Sulu was also there but he never looked in my direction the whole time he spoke. What a dick, that Mr. Sulu.

So yea, Jason Taylor is my friend.

Jason Taylor Is My Friend. Maybe.

 

Apparently, Jason Taylor has supposedly, maybe just set up a MySpace page to keep his fans abreast on his Dancing With the Stars venture. And look who he’s got as his number one friend! (after the official Dancing With the Stars page).

Of course, this may not even be real. This could very well be a well orchestrated plot by some deviant who is trying to entice me into a MS chat room where he’ll make me e-mail him pictures of me in my swim trunks. Then exploit my weakness for Oreos and make me meet him at a motel where he will then show me the “Oreo” he has for me in his pants (U LV OREO? OMG ME 2! LOL). But I’ll bring Chris Hanson along, so it’s cool.

Or maybe it’s real. Maybe Jason Taylor is a fan of FinsNation. No one in the blogosphere worships him more than I do. So I've got that going for me. And FinsNation is the top fan site on his official website (number one of three, bitch!). However, there’s also no mention of this MySpace page on his website. So who knows. Meh, fuck it. I’m just going to pretend it’s real.

I'm friends with the baddest of the badasses, I am!

Know who else I'm friends with? Leonard Nimoy. Yep. I went to a Star Trek convention a couple of years ago and he was on stage and did that Vulcan greeting thing with his hand and he smiled and looked right at me. I was like, whoa. Spock smiled at me! The guy who played Mr. Sulu was also there but he never looked in my direction the whole time he spoke. What a dick, that Mr. Sulu.

So yea, Jason Taylor is my friend.