Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Dolphins vs. Titans Open Thread

Welcome back to OpenThreadNation!

(sorry, we'll get back to writing shit real soon.... Go Fins)

Dolphins @ Colts Open Thread / New #WAARF Video Premiere

 

Our boy Ryan Tannehill (or if you're Omar Kelly, you make up some stupid nickname that doesn't make sense just for the fuck of it) is expected to start today so the team at #WAARF cooked up this little ditty for #TheReturn.  An actually marginally positive Dolphins parody vid???  The time's they are a-changin'...

Go Dolphins!

Bang it here for comments during the game.

Dolphins at Jets Open Thread

Talk amongst yourselves ....

Also: VOTE FINSNATION 2012! 

Keys to the Game: Dolphins @ Jets

Read The Dude and I's previews here and here.

Also, please vote for us in New Times' Wed Awards here.  The Dude said he'll get each voter a bottle of Grey Goose and a VIP section at <insert cool South Beach club of the moment here> if you do so!!!

Fuck the Jets.

A Reminder for Jets Week

Fuck you zombie dickfaces right in your cum-starved mouths.

Go Dolphins

Did you mention Mephistopholes jizzzz??!?!?!  WHY YES I'D LOVE SOME.

Recaps? WE GOT EM!

This is Francoise Boufhal.  She seems nice.

Recaps from us here and here.  Thank God for penalties and kickers with names that rhyme with Fräulein.  Please comment and shit.  It helps feed our whisky addictions.

Also, don't forget to vote for FinsNation in New Times' Web Awards here.  It'll make us feel good!

Tetas.

Your Dolphins vs. Rams Open Thread

Win this one for JT & Zach.

Zach Thomas Has Five Things He Wants To Share With You

Figured you'd had enough of seeing O's face everytime you logged onto good ole FinsNation.

So, I googled "hot lady" and look who came up!

Jennifer Lopez also came up, which is counter productive of the whole thing. But, hey. GOOGLE BE SLIPPIN.

(No, I don't think J-Lo is, or ever has been, hot. No, I don't want to debate this in the comments.)

Anyway... we're moving on. On to positive, fun and awesome things. 

So go read Zach Thomas' five favorite moments as a Dolphin. 

Zach and his brother-in-law/brother-in-badassery, Jason Taylor, will both be going into the Dolphins Ring of Honor this Sunday.

Titties. TITTIES. I. SAY.

Omar Kelly Is The Biggest Troll In The History of the Internet

If you're a frequent reader of his blog, or perhaps one of many who have been blocked by him on Twitter, then you know that Omar Kelly is the biggest sports writer troll in the history of the Internet.

It's not even close.

And yes, we're talking bigger than Skip Bayless, Michael Wilbon, Jason Whitlock, and Bill Simmons.

Because, as dickish as those assholes can be, the subtle genius of their trolling is that they know they're trolling. They thrive on it, made careers out of it, even have fun with it.

The problem with Omar is that he is so lacking in self-awareness, so caught up with thinking he's smarter than you, and bathed with so much contempt and condescension towards you -- the unwashed masses of poor uneducated football fans -- that his trolling isn't merely playing the villain -- like Simmons or Bayless -- it's that he's a genuine dick, hated by a lot of Dolphins fans, and disrespected by even his own peers.

Be it him touting his fucktarded KILL stat to determine whether a quarterback is any good, talking about how football games are won and lost in THE TRENCHES because look at how abstract am I in my thinking, you puney pieces of shit! Or be it acting like an unprofessional shitheel on Twitter, acting like a tough guy with complete strangers and even insulting one follower by saying he "banged" their mom (that tweet has since been deleted, which is typical pussyfart Omar), Kelly has time and time again, been a total and complete anal fissure.

Which brings us to his blog post from yesterday, where he passive aggressively went after WAARF, while simultaneously fellating himself, putting on his INTERWEBZ GANGSTA persona, and defining what a true real for honest to goodness fan REALLY is. The post really does have everything Omar.  

Let's take a look, shall we?

Victory Monday, Y'all!

Kate Upton and her amazing tits are here to celebrate Victory Monday with you. Isn't that nice? 

(Seriously, Kate Upton's tits are too good. It's like God's very own double-middle fingers at us all. Not cool, God!)

Since these things called "wins" are so damn rare, I figured I'd come back from my FN hiatus for a quick minute and  bust out this pic I've been dying to use but needed an excuse to post. So there you have it.

A few quick thoughts on the game:

- LaMontelle looks dinged up and I fear he may not last the whole season. But when he's on the field, it's fucking magicpants and fun as shit watching him olbliterate opposing linebackers' ankles. Here's to hoping he lasts the remainder of the season without a ligament going poof.

- Ryan Tannehill is the balls. Omar Kelly can eat a dick.

- Our secondary still sucks ass, but they came up big yesterday. So props where props are due.

- Tannehill's arrival, the big hawking pile of shit that is the AFC East, and this team's vanilla schedule means the Fins could very well be in the thick of a wild card race at the end. It also means Jeff Ireland is here to stay. Testicle sandwiches all around.

- Hey, you love this blog right? Well now's your chance to keep us relevant and keep our Best Blog In The Universe winning streak alive. FinsNation is up for a first-annual New Times South Florida Web Award (for sports blog).

SO GO HERE AND VOTE FOR US.

AND THEN TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

Seriously, I work for this company and it would suck to not win this. So, help us out.

- After you're done voting, go read my game recap and then DRK's recap. And leave a comment telling us how awesome and sexy we are.

NOW IT'S TIME TO ENJOY THE REST OF THIS VICTORY MONDAY!

What say you to that, Kate Upton's amazing tits?

AWWRIIIIGHT!!