Two words can aptly describe Sunday's
21-19 win over Seattle:
weird fucking game. This game seemed to embody what the 2008 Miami Dolphins are. Scrappy, crappy, exciting, infuriating, imposing, cringe worthy, and awesome all at the same time. The defense looked like it was going to have a huge game in the first half, only to return for the second-half as if they had themselves a
K-Y Jelly wrestling tournament in the locker room during halftime. The offense looked as if it was going to be able to score at will after Chad Pennington threw that 67-yard flea flicker touchdown to Ted Ginn in double-coverage, and after that 51-yard touchdown run by Ricky Williams. Yet in the second quarter, for whatever reason, the offense decided that it was enough already and reverted back to their old stagnant ways. Pennington throws a pick that gets returned for a touchdown, the running game shuts down like my Dad after a heavy meal, and panic attacks set in during every 3rd and long. Yet the Dolphins win on a 9 minute drive that culminates in a Ronnie Brown touchdown and a last-minute defensive stance. Ugly? Yes. Kick-ass? Absolutely.
Sure there were times where the opportunistic Seahawks took advantage of Miami's sloppiness and stormed back in a game they had no business storming back in, which in turn drove me to rub a cheese grater against my genitals. But the Dolphins were able to make up for their sloppiness by taking advantage of Seattle's over-all suckiness.
And then there was that one moment where you thought to yourself, "Holy fucknuts. This game's gonna come down to an Olindo Mare field goal! And there's no infield dirt to stop him!!!" I know you were thinking this, because I was thinking this. You were also thinking, "We won't be able to live this down if we lose." But, thankfully, that turned out not to be the case. While the Fins defense wasn't as dominant as one would've hoped against this injury riddled Seahawks team, it ultimately got the job done. The D-line clamped down when it needed to the most, quite literally delivering a cockpunch to Seattle QB Seneca Wallace,
injuring his groin and limiting his mobility. Joey Porter and his popcorn muscles only managed to record 2 tackles and half a sack, but the other guys -- Roth, Crowder, Ferguson, Langford -- showed up big, holding Wallace to just 185 yards passing and Julius Jones to just 88 yards rushing. Displaying their full sacks, if you will.
This game also featured the return of the once-thought-dead Wildcat. And it came back with a vengeance, just like in that movie
Pet Semetary where dead pets come back to life except that they're not cute like they used to be, but all fucked up and ghastly and ready to gauge your eyes out and slash your carotid artery because you once dressed them up like a cowboy for Halloween because you thought it would be so adorable. The Wildcat had been completely shut down the past three weeks. But against Seattle, the formation resulted in all three touchdowns and gave Ricky Williams his first 100 yard rushing game since 2006.
So despite Chad Pennington reminding us all that his arm is, in fact, one giant noodle, and despite the fact that our special teams needs a good "talkin' to" by Coach Sparano
Al Capone in Untouchables style, and despite the fact that our defense forgot how to stop the run during the second half, we won. It was ugly. Like the girl you take home and bone on a dare. But it's a win. And a win is a win, and we'll take it. And so the Dolphins are now 5-4 -- above .500 for the first time since 2005 -- and a game out of first in the AFC East.
Yo quiero tetitas grandes!!!Also, a special thanks goes out to Koren Robinson and his intractable cement-hands.
Players like Jason Taylor, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Larry Fitzgerald are what you call the Face of the Franchise. Ted Ginn Jr. is what you call the Face of Cam Cameron's Epic Fail. 
