Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Joey Porter Thinks Greg Camarillo Needs to Work on His Trash Talk

Denver cornerback Karl Paymah continued the Broncos new and ridiculous fuckstick tradition of trash talking after a loss, when he called Fins' receiver Greg Camarillo an "average Joe."

Of course, Camarillo took exception and shot back:

"If I'm an average Joe, I had 11 catches, most of them against him. What does that make him?"

Oh snap!

Needless to say, Joey Porter is unhappy about Camarillo's sub par handling of the situation:


Hey Camarillio


It's Camarillo. Like Cama-ree-yo.


Shut the fuck up and listen.


Alright.


Next time, you wanna talk back at a muthafucka you schooled, you do it the Peezy way. Got it?


Okay.Thanks. I --


Tell em shit like, "Hey muthafucka. Why didn't you tell me yo mama's a loud barker? I had to find out the hard way last night!"


Well I --


Or, "I been thinkin' bout you all day. My toilet overflowed and my home smells like shit."


That's great but...


Or, "If I wanted your input, I'd take my dick out yo mouth." I use that one a lot.


But, Joey... I'm not sure I --


Or, "You suck worse than a cow's cunt!"


That doesn't even make any sense.


Or when all else fails, call the muthafucka a pussy fart. That shit'll rock his world. Pussy fart. Got it?


Uh .... yea?


Yea. Pussy fart.

/walks away saying "pussy fart" to himself

Greg Camarillo and Matt Roth Go on a Blind Double-Date

The girls will be meeting us in half an hour. You ready, Roth?

YEA!!! LET'S DO THIS!!!

Take it down a notch. Tonight is date night. So no Game-Day Roth, okay? Let's not have another incident like the last time when you scared that poor girl to death. Be nice. Be friendly.

OH MAN! OKAY! OKAY!

Okay... I'm all set.

ME TOO!!! LET'S DO THIS!!!

Roth! What did I say? No Game-Day Roth! C'mon. Get dressed. Look clean and, above all else, be friendly. Friendly is the key word. Friendly.

DONE!!! HOW'S THIS?!! HI!!! HELLO!!! NICE TO MEET YOU PRETTY LADY!! BETTER?!!

*sigh* I guess. Let's go.

/half hour later at the restaurant....

...I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps...

Mmm hmm (holy shit, this girl's dumber than a sock full of pennies... ay yay yay.)

...I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like Iraq...

Mmmhmmm... (just nod your head, Camarillo. You'll have her in the sack by midnight... as long as Roth doesn't fuck things up for us... again... but he seems quiet over there with his date, so that's gotta be a good sign...) Mmmhmmm...

And O my God you should totally meet my brother he's so crazy he once took a Coke bottle and shoved it up his best friend's ass and they started doing that to each other and like making out and stuff but he's not gay or anything he's just crazy and O my God did you see Lost the other day? Can you believe that island monster was just a dream and O my God I can't believe I'm on a date with a football player! Are you good friends with Dan Morrino? He's like so hot I know he's old but I don't care I'd so let him have his way with me....

(Keep it together, Roth... NO! CHANGE! CHANGE NOW! No... just bare with her. Do it for your friend Greg. NO!!! LISTEN TO HER! SHE'S BABBLING LIKE A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON! DO IT! No. DO IT!!!! No.... DO IT!!!!)

...and then there was that one time when me and my friends went to Cancun O my God we got so drunk and then we met this guy who was like totally hot and he took us to this party and it was ...

GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

AHHH!!! O MY GOD!! AHHHH!!!

ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! :gulp!:

/later that night at the apartment...

 /opens door

Oh hey... Didn't expec' anybody to be home... So, uh, how'd you fellas do tonight?

Do you even have to ask, Channing? What do you think happened? I went with Roth. My date literally shit her panties and ran off crying. I was this close to closing the deal with her!

My date was delicious.

Oh word. Roth, you crazy, man.  Hahaaa....

BURRRRP!!!!! Ahhh...

Uh, Greg. Can me and m'girls borrow your bed? I'd use Roth's but he has animal carcasses on it.

 

Oh word. Thanks.

I need to move into my own place.

Hi. I'm Matt Roth and I'm Making Roid Ragin' Plays For You!

(Yelling at the top of his lungs)

HEY DUDES!!! 

HOW THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY???!!

HUH?!??!

WELL, I'M JUST HERE TO TELL YOU THE TREMENDOUSLY POSITIVE, FREE-OF-PROBABLE-FUTURE-HEALTH-AND-MENTAL-NEGATIVE-RAMIFICATIONS EFFECT THAT TAKING STEROIDS HAS PRODUCED IN ME.

SEE THAT PICTURE UP THERE??!?!?!  WHAT?!?!?!

WELL, CAN YOU, YOU FUCK?!?!

YES?!  OH!  COOL!  WELL, THAT'S MY TEAM PICTURE TAKEN EARLIER THIS YEAR.  AT THE TIME, EVERYONE CALLED ME "T-REX" IN THE LOCKER ROOM SINCE I WAS RATHER FEVERISH AND TENACIOUS YET MY FREAKISHLY-SHORT ARMS ONLY CAUSED MY TEAMMATES TO ERUPT IN LAUGHTER NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED PLAY AFTER PLAY IN PRACTICE AND GAMES.

THEN I DID A FEW CYCLES OF SOMETHING CALLED 'DEPO-TESTOSTERONE CYPIONATE' AND I FEEL FUCKIN' GREAT!!  DID YOU SEE THOSE 5 TACKLES I POSTED ON SUNDAY?!?!?!  THREE OF THOSE WERE FOR A LOSS AND I EVEN HAD A SACK!!!  AT LAST, I WAS A PLAYMAKER!!!

EVERYBODY SAYS I LOOK CERTIFIABLY INSANE IN PICTURES FROM SUNDAY'S GAME BUT I DON'T FUCKING SEE IT!  SEE FOR YOURSELF, ASSHOLE:

Hi. I'm Matt Roth and I'm Making Roid Ragin' Plays For You!

(Yelling at the top of his lungs)

HEY DUDES!!! 

HOW THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY???!!

HUH?!??!

WELL, I’M JUST HERE TO TELL YOU THE TREMENDOUSLY POSITIVE, FREE-OF-PROBABLE-FUTURE-HEALTH-AND-MENTAL-NEGATIVE-RAMIFICATIONS EFFECT THAT TAKING STEROIDS HAS PRODUCED IN ME.

SEE THAT PICTURE UP THERE??!?!?!  WHAT?!?!?!

WELL, CAN YOU, YOU FUCK?!?!

YES?!  OH!  COOL!  WELL, THAT’S MY TEAM PICTURE TAKEN EARLIER THIS YEAR.  AT THE TIME, EVERYONE CALLED ME ‘T-REX’ IN THE LOCKER ROOM SINCE I WAS RATHER FEVERISH AND TENACIOUS YET MY FREAKISHLY-SHORT ARMS ONLY CAUSED MY TEAMMATES TO ERUPT IN LAUGHTER NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED PLAY AFTER PLAY IN PRACTICE AND GAMES.

THEN I DID A FEW CYCLES OF SOMETHING CALLED ‘DEPO-TESTOSTERONE CYPIONATE’ AND I FEEL FUCKIN’ GREAT!!  DID YOU SEE THOSE 5 TACKLES I POSTED ON SUNDAY?!?!?!  THREE OF THOSE WERE FOR A LOSS AND I EVEN HAD A SACK!!!  AT LAST, I WAS A PLAYMAKER!!!

EVERYBODY SAYS I LOOK CERTIFIABLY INSANE IN PICTURES FROM SUNDAY’S GAME BUT I DON’T FUCKING SEE IT!  SEE FOR YOURSELF, ASSHOLE:

Brady's Done, or You're Only as Smart as an Anterior Cruciate Ligament

mumblemumblemumblemumble...I'm a genius....mumblemumblemumble...the greatest most percipient football mind of our times...mumble...

Ouchy!

Well, fuck me with a baltine hammer.
This could hurt me. mumble....

--
-The DUDE

Brady's Done, or You're Only as Smart as an Anterior Cruciate Ligament

mumblemumblemumblemumble...I'm a genius....mumblemumblemumble...the greatest most percipient football mind of our times...mumble...

Ouchy!

Well, fuck me with a baltine hammer.
This could hurt me. mumble....

--
-The DUDE

Cam Cameron and His Penis Would Like to Wish FN a Happy Crappiversary

Hi there Fins Nation.

Come on, tell them.

Ahem. Hi there Fins Nation. I just wanted to...

Come on! Tell them!

I'm trying to.

Well, get on with it, twat-face!

Cam Cameron and His Penis Would Like to Wish FN a Happy Crappiversary

Hi there Fins Nation.

Come on, tell them.

Ahem. Hi there Fins Nation. I just wanted to...

Come on! Tell them!

I'm trying to.

Well, get on with it, twat-face!

JT: "Happy Crappiversary, FN! Also, I'm g*y now!"

Ooooooooh, I looooooove birthdays!!!  I can�t wait to have a Mai-Tai and some chocolate covered strrawberrieeess!!!!

That�s how men celebrate, right?

/licks lips

Anyway, happy birthday, FinsNation!!!  You dirty little tease.  YOU SKANK.

/giggles then lands a limp-wristed slap at you

You�re getting too old for me!!!  I only date YOUNGER sitesssss. 

/laughs like Rupaul

OH. MY. GOD.  Did you see me at the Hall of Fame Game???  Have you seen my arms since I was on Dancing With The Starrthzzzzz???  I feel so sssexy. 

/rubs both naked biceps with opposite hands

Well, DUDE, if you want me to give you a little striptease later in honor of the birthday of your site thingy, call me ok???  I'll even bring a very special friend and we can have a three-boy private party!!! Oohhh! I can't wait!!!

Don�t get all jealous because I�m a HOT Indian warrior now.  I�m burning with rage and desire and I�m all out for blood.  LOOK AT ME!!!

AYE, PAPI!!!

/giggles like your first girlfriend

-DRK

JT: "Happy Crappiversary, FN! Also, I'm g*y now!"

Ooooooooh, I looooooove birthdays!!!  I can’t wait to have a Mai-Tai and some chocolate covered strrawberrieeess!!!!

That’s how men celebrate, right?

/licks lips

Anyway, happy birthday, FinsNation!!!  You dirty little tease.  YOU SKANK.

/giggles then lands a limp-wristed slap at you

You’re getting too old for me!!!  I only date YOUNGER sitesssss. 

/laughs like Rupaul

OH. MY. GOD.  Did you see me at the Hall of Fame Game???  Have you seen my arms since I was on Dancing With The Starrthzzzzz???  I feel so sssexy. 

/rubs both naked biceps with opposite hands

Well, DUDE, if you want me to give you a little striptease later in honor of the birthday of your site thingy, call me ok???  I'll even bring a very special friend and we can have a three-boy private party!!! Oohhh! I can't wait!!!

Don’t get all jealous because I’m a HOT Indian warrior now.  I’m burning with rage and desire and I’m all out for blood.  LOOK AT ME!!!

AYE, PAPI!!!

/giggles like your first girlfriend

-DRK