FinsNation

Your New FinsNation Correspondent, Dat Roro Kid

Hi!!!

I’m Roger a.k.a. Dat Roro Kid. Apologies for the length in advance, sit back and enjoy your breakfast this fine morning but I wouldn’t get used to it if I were you. 

The Dude has graciously asked me to be a contributor here on FinsNation once we move over to the new MVN site.  The minute he asked me I absolutely jumped at this opportunity as I’ve been reading the site since the old Miami Sports Dude days and figured this to be one of the more entertaining and informative sports blogs out there. It also can’t hurt that it strictly adheres to covering the Miami Dolphins, a team/concept/extrapolation of my very soul that occupies nearly 68% of my thinking brain on a daily basis (other 32%?? Maaaan, you’re gonna find out). My single greatest hope here is to add to (what I feel) is an already outstanding site and make it even more insatiably kickass. 

In an effort to solidify our gay bond last weekend while I was in Miami, I received via Thomas Pynchon-like Tristero code an ‘order’ to meet the actual Dude. You know what? He’s handsome, well-mannered and knowledgeable about all things Miami sports – and that really pisses me off. I should be the only handsome blogger/contributor guy on this site and my mother reinforced that in me when I drunkenly visited her after my Saturday night hang out with the Dude (True story).  So I’ll say he’s completely awesome even if he does irk me with his cool demeanor, square jaw, decision to eat a Philly chicken (instead of going for the O.G. cheese steak) and his wearing of a white t-shirt under his button down – effectively negating what might have been a sicko, Hispanic, couple-of-buttons-buttoned look. In fact, here’s a photo from that meeting:

A Common Anger: The Continuing E-mail Adventures of The Dude & DRK

The following is an actual e-mail exchange between me (The Dude) and FinsNation star commenter Dat Ro Ro Kid (DRK) yesterday afternoon:
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DRK: I read this and it makes me very, very angry.

DUDE: Yea, I saw that. It's so awesome being a Dolphins fan.

DRK: I think you could seriously put the monkeys from 'Project X' to run the front office with buttons on a giant console representing certain drafts picks and free agents and we'd be way better off than we are right now.

DUDE: The Josh McCown era starts soon!

DRK: (throws up in pants)
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...And scene.

I'll just end this by once gain reiterating that we all hope Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller both have themselves a rectal accident. Like falling ass-first onto a hammer or a cactus, respectively.

On Location FN Report: Roro Hits New York

Well, here it is. Roro Kid hit Giants Stadium this past Sunday for the Jets-Dolphins debacle and filed this special on-location FN report (with pics and jokes!). Enjoy:

Wow.

I sometimes drunkenly boast to my friends that I’m likely the only person they’ve ever met that has thrown a football to a real life dolphin.  Not Mandich or Marino, but some distant relative of Snowflake (or at least I like to pretend) during a trip to the Miami Seaquarium when I was just about 9 years old.  That dolphin caught nearly every goddamn pass I threw at that crazy fucker.  It was uncanny and probably one of the more impressive things I’d seen up until that point in time. That kinda sealed the whole ‘which-NFL-team-should-I-root-for’ question. 

This season I’m kinda hoping for some Quantum Leap-ish ability to go back in time and steal that goddamn football from myself and punt it as far as I can.  I can’t tell you how fuckin’ SICK I felt watching that game from the rather sweet seats we’ve sat in these past two seasons via some very nice Jets fans (they still make us pay a hefty monetary and psychological ransom for this privilege, natch).  In fact, I’ll confess that I did something I have NEVER done before:  I left early.  With a 6am wake up call for an equity research conference the next morning, I figured I’d had enough.  Again, I have never done this.  Not even during the most boring Marlins loss so you can imagine how bad this must have been to watch.  I felt like ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook writing ‘Game Over’ in his cocky, pretentious notebook over and over and over again ad nauseum the second CHAD FUCKING PENNINGTON managed to out-scramble our supposedly stout defense and score a RUSHING touchdown.  That was it for me.  I got up, thanked the Jets boys that own the tickets (his family’s had them since they were at Shea), shook their hands and got the fuck out of there.  Terrible. 
On to the pics:

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Fins Nation Will Be In New York This Weekend

You see this hammered, incredulous bastard doing some kind of Mick-Jagger-on-acid-jig while still somehow managing to not spill his beverage?

That’s our very own FinsNation All Star commenter, Dat Roro Kid.

Embrace him, Nation. And be very proud.

For as of this moment, he is our official FN New York City correspondent. And this very weekend, he will be infiltrating enemy territory as he heads into the Meadowlands for this Sunday’s Dolphins-Jets match up.

That’s right. Roro Kid's got hisself Fins-Jets tickets and is going to be representing you, Nation. Look at that picture. Look at it. Look at it! Doesn’t it just make you swell with pride? Ahh … drunken Dolphins fans. Is there any other kind, really?

Roro, or Roger if you prefer, will be handing in his on-location report of the game right here on this blog, complete with analysis of the game, photos of various characters he comes across (female Jets fans? Fantastic!), and a detailed report on just how much Jets fans really are insufferable douchebags, even when their team sucks ass.

Hopefully, Roger will be experiencing the Fins’ first victory of the season first hand and telling us all about it.

Hopefully, it will be exactly as we dreamed it would be.

Hopefully, he’ll be heading back home before somebody shivs him.

(Look for the report here sometime Monday or Tuesday)