Brent Grimes Likes His Birthday Cakes

brent grimes

Fins cornerback Brent Grimes had himself a surprise 30th birthday this past Friday thrown by his wife and buddies.

And what kind of theme birthday cake do you get a man who is turning the big Three Oh?

Why the kind with a lady sucking a dick on it, of course!

Turns out, Grimes’ cake was quite a mouthful (ha! ha!) (sorry), and his wife Miko did what all good wives do — she Instagrammed the cake!

However, we put on our reporter hat on and did some digging (i.e. we Googled shit) and found out that Grimes’ 29th birthday cake was even more titillating than his 30th birthday cake. It even had a little bit of  vanilla added to it.

Best part of this story?

This is literally how I found out the Dolphins had Brent Grimes now.

Click here to see Brent’s 30th birthday cake

Click here to see Brent’s 29th birthday cake

Warning: Both links are EXTREMELY NSFW (also, probably extremely delicious)

The Dolphins Started Training Camp Yesterday

20130722-130706.jpg

The Dolphins started training camp yesterday. So far Tannyboy and Wallace haven’t connected on a long TD bomb so everyone’s already started to shit out fried tilapia. It’s Day Two, folks. I’m more worried about Dion Jordan looking less buff than Montell Jordan BUT DAS JUST ME.

Give us your impressions thus far in the comments.

(P-shop by #Fireland)

Fins CEO Mike Dee is Gone

tumblr_mdsnxsGPXF1qzbwkjo1_1280

YOYOYOYOYOYO, PEACE OUT HOMEY!

As reported earlier everywhere but I was too busy to make fun of it, CEO Mike Dee of the Dolphins is GONE-SKI.  Dee has left for the greener pastures and lower expectations to take the same position with the San Diego Padres.  BASEBALL?  Yuuuuuckoooo.

Dee has served as CEO of the Fins since 2009 and can list these accomplishments under his tenure:

  • The Orange Carpet
  • Declining season ticket sales
  • 7-9 FOREVERRRRR
  • The ‘popular’ and ‘successful’ ‘Gator Day
  • The HILARIOUS ‘field goal contest

So yea, sleep tight Padres fans.  Good luck having this face troll you every day and threaten to move the team to La Jolla!!!

mike1 MIKE DEE

Ellerbe Puts Balls On Table, Points At Them

042513-spt-fins-ae-2

New LB Dannell Ellerbe (seen here wearing the very latest in Orlando Thunder gameday apparel) said he was brought to Miami to topple the Patriots – a team you might remember as have penistically violated the entire AFC East for, oh, 13 fucking seasons now.  In his comments, at least Ellerbe showed the slightest humility and restraint during a period of time (the offseason) that is usually reserved for unabridged panache and highfalutin braggadicio.  KUDOS ON THAT.

Unfortunately, the Patriots still have Tom Fucking Brady, Douchebag Esq. III and I seem to remember that guy still scoring touchdowns when his team consisted of Kevin Faulk and 6 amputees on work release.

So, yea, we’ll see!  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, DOLDRUMS!

We’re Back….

74_john-lennon-paul-mccartney_01

The Boys are back.  More to come next week.

Have a safe, fun 4th of July

Some Midweek Eye Candy, Featuring Our Gals

Hey guys,

Happy hump day!

OTAs are over and we won’t have much activity until training camp starts in late July.

BTW – despite my smart-ass posts, I actually am predicting they make the playoffs this year (first time since 2008).

Tannehill has looked good so far and he is the key to our season.


Source: Bleacher Report

To kill the monotony, I found this video of our gals covering Taylor Swifts “22″.

More of our cheerleaders here.

Hard Knocks Bengals?

All I can say about this is… yawn.

If this at all interests you, read more here.

Is It Too Early To Talk About Our First Game Of The Season?

Our September 8th contest against the Browns is fast approaching… well not really. Dammit. Welp, I guess the longer we have until the season starts, the longer we can dream that our team is gonna do well – versus the harsh reality of the actual games.

Until then, more boobs:
kate-walking