Is It Too Early To Talk About Our First Game Of The Season?

Our September 8th contest against the Browns is fast approaching… well not really. Dammit. Welp, I guess the longer we have until the season starts, the longer we can dream that our team is gonna do well – versus the harsh reality of the actual games.

Until then, more boobs:
kate-walking

Your First Round Open Thread

Oh, what big, fat guy that doesn’t score touchdowns await us…

SO MANY large, delicious men for Jeff Ireland to salivate over.  He must be straight outta jizz right now from fappin’ all day long to Combine video of them.

The fatal 3-car pile-up that is your Miami Dolphins awaits in the comments.

Let’s go.

These Are The New Uniforms

As reported a earlier today by UniWatch, the Dolphins new uniform was leaked and here’s your first second third 50th look at them.  That is aaaaalooottt of light aqua/teal/Easter/’Bayside Blue’/whatever.

Impressions?

There’s A LOT of white and the aqua has a considerable amount of more of a blueish hue to them, if you will.  Are they the faggiest uniform in NFL history??  No, I guess the creamsicle Bucs one is worse BUT IT’S NOT FAR OFF.  I get this odd Detroit Lions vibe about them for some reason.  Below is another look from the front.

Ultimately, the unis – as we feared – don’t make them look any meaner, nastier or like a professional sports team than the old unis did.  In fact, it looks like some rejected World Football League design but what do you expect from the geniuses currently running our front office?

Bring your thoughts to the comments.

Dolphins Sign Dustin Keller to 1-Year Deal


HEY, HANDSOME!

Reports are the Dolphins have made a shrewd move (unless we threw $6 mil at him) by signing former Jets TE Dustin Keller to a one-year deal.  Keller will get a chance to prove he’s healthy and can play a full season in the hopes of getting some more cash next year and beyond.  This is a great move for all sides as Keller’s camp was floundering a bit with the whole ‘give-us-a-shit-ton-of-money’ thing and the Dolphins DESPERATELY needed a tight end (particularly a seam threat) with the departure of Anthony Fasano and the overall sucktitude of Egnew.

I love the Keller signing and pitched for it just last week because Keller is a guy that can get open down the middle and was historically a great target for Sanchez (a very, very shitty QB) in both the red zone and in crucial 3rd down situations.  If he stays healthy, this guy could be an impact player for us.

Let’s hope the money is right.

Brian Hartline Talks About Me, Defends His Stance on Cats

Brian Hartline went on LeBatard’s show to address the ongoing twitter beef between several FinsNationers and Hartline about his apparent dislike for cats.  It wasn’t about how he felt about his contract or anything. Nooooo…it was the caaaaaattttssssssssssssssssssssss.

The cat talk starts at about the 5:30 mark.

And So It Begins…


Don’t think I’ve ever felt so ‘meh’ about the team upon entering the free agency period as I do this year.

But here we go…

(We’ll try to stay updated as things happen)

UPDATE #1:  By all appearances, JEFFY IRELAND GOT HIM!  Now 3 things: 1) Don’t stop here.  Need another WR in those 5 first picks we got to keep adding playmakers.  Injuries happen (Tavon Austin would be hella nice) 2) Better hope Tanny Boy improves on that deep-ball accuracy cuz he missed a handful of deep throws last year.  3) Tanny Boy is NOT Big Ben.  He can’t extend plays like him so the Dolphins O-Line – after years of throwing money and picks away – NEEDS TO BE FUCKIN’ LEGIT in order for plays to develop downfield and this to work.

More to come…

Dolphins Use $10 Million to Sign These Two Guys

This guy:

Brian_hartline_bending_over_fiance

And this guy:

Matt moore eagles

“I’ve got picks and money!”, he screamed.

I’ve got picks and fucking money.  FOR WHAT?

Jake Long signing for $9 million a year is imminent, I’m sure.

A Quick Recap of That Time A Chipmunk Got Mad At Me For Liking Cats

Pool
So, Brian Hartline got mad at me yesterday.

It’s all pretty silly and ridiculous but I figured I’d provide some screenshots of the ‘altercation’ last night between possible soon-to-be-$6 million-dollar-man, Chipmunk Hartline, and his clingy girl with the stratospheric fake boobs up to her neck, Kara Conrad.  In all, they got super butthurt at first then tried to play it off like I’m the crazy one but, whatever, fuck them both.  Smh and all that stuff.