FinsNation

Ricky Williams ..... Is A Miami Dolphin...

Looks like Ricky Williams and Bill Parcells have started things off on the right foot. And Parcells has already told Ricky that he's going to be Ronnie (Black Thunder) Brown's backup.

Williams said he felt he was the kind of hard-working player Parcells likes. But Williams worried his reputation for off-the-field problems had preceded him.

Instead, Williams said Parcells told him he’d share carries this season with Ronnie Brown.

“I was expecting him not to talk to me at all,” Williams told The Statesman. “I was expecting to get a letter in the mail saying I was going to be a free agent.

“I like (Parcells) more than I thought I would.”

This is good because Ricky is a solid football player as well as a fine purveyor of "Fuck Yea!" moments in recent Dolphins history. We were all very excited last season when he came back from his Canadian exile and was all set to make his triumphant return on Monday Night Football against the Pittsburgh Steelers. But in keeping with the Dolphins' 2007 slogan, We Have Shit For Luck And It Shows!, a minute into the game some asshole stepped on his shoulder and ended his season.

So I for one am glad he's back and looking fit and focused. Ricky has had more than his share of "Fuck Yeah!" moments as a Miami Dolphin. Most memorable for me was in September of 2002, when he beat the Jets after busting through bodies like Godzilla through Tokyo and sprinting for a 53-yard TD that clinched the game for the Fins. I remember bolting from my couch right after that TD and yelling, "Fuck you! And fuck you! Get the hell outta my house!" to a couple of douchey-behaving Jets fans my buddy had invited to watch the game with us. They didn't get out only because we were actually in my friend's house. But those douchebags got the message: if this was my house, then they would definitely have to go. I get irrationally overzealous, incoherent and pretty much lose all cohesiveness when I watch Dolphins games. It's a gift.

So is Ricky -- entering the season at 31 years of age and as a backup -- going to give us more memories like this now that he's healthy with a clean slate? Fuck yeah he is! Jets fans better be on their guard because I'm gonna show up and verbally kick them out of other people's houses! They cannot stop me or Ricky with conventional doucheyness. Their doucheyness has no power over us! Their doucheyness only makes us stronger!!! Bring it on, I say!

So, yea, Ricky is looking strong.

Dolphins Bringing Back Ricky

Lost in the nuttiness of Cam Cameron and his assistants being told "Get! Out!" yesterday, was this little nugget: Ricky Williams had his option renewed for 2008.

There's no word on what Bill Parcells intends to do with Ricky. His famous intolerance for bad-characters and people who are associated with drugs suggests Ricky won't be a Dolphin next season.

This is what Williams' agent had to say: "After the current administration changes are done, I'm sure we'll have an opportunity to talk to Bill and get a sense of his feelings about Ricky."

So what do you think, Nation? Keep him? Trade him? Cut him?

Meanwhile, Ricky's agent also reports that his rehabilitation on the injury he suffered in November is going well. And why shouldn't it? It's a torn pectoral muscle, so he should be fine. People say football is a brutal, vicious sport. But come on. It's a pulled muscle here, a sprained ankle there. Maybe the occasional knee sprain. It's not like these guys are, I don't know, getting their livers lacerated or anything. I mean, really.

What?

Oh. Goo.

Ricky Is Done

Ricky Williams is done for the season.

I smell a Samkon Gado comeback. It smells like feet.

Ricky Williams ..... Is A Miami Dolphin...

My man Armando is reporting that Ricky's meeting with Cam and the Fins went very well today. And that, as soon as he passes a physical, Ricky can start practicing with the team and will play this season.

Man, the barrage of good news these last two days have been like when a girl sends you off on a "nice meeting you" blow the morning after hooking up. Smiles, everyone! Smiles!

Say Yes to Ricky!

I’m still riding this rare euphoric wave of having not one, but two, good pieces of Dolphins news dropped on us in one day. Jesus, it’s been a while since we had any kind of good news round these parts. In the back of my mind, I’m still waiting for the pile of shit to drop in my soup with the usual cursed nonsense we get from this team like, I don’t know, Ted Ginn’s knee just exploded for no reason whatsoever or Cam Cameron decided to trade Jason Taylor to Minnesota for Koy Detmer and a copy of ABBA’s Greatest Hits Live double CD set or some shit. Something to break us all out of this rare happy stupor and back into full-blown “Ah fuck! Motherfucker!” mode we Dolphins fans are all accustomed to.

But I’m gonna ride this thing until it runs into the proverbial brick wall. Because it’s all I got to cling to. John Beck is finally getting the start and should start the rest of the way. This is very good. Also very good, Ricky Williams’ reinstatement. And as he meets with Cam today, I’m hoping the two parties can come to an agreement and that Ricky will once again don the Aqua and Orange and help us ride out the rest of this godforsaken season.

Look, I know there are still a lot of you out there who would like to stick Ricky’s nuts in a waffle iron for an hour or two. He's a selfish double-crosser. He did a bad thing. He betrayed and murdered your father. He’s more machine now, than man. Twisted and evil. I understand that. But let’s face it. We need Ricky back in the worst way. More than that, John Beck could really use a player like Ricky. As The Mormon gets thrown to the wolves, he’s gonna need all the help he can get. And Ricky provides that help. Sure, he can always backslide to his old ways and send his career up in smoke (see what I did there? I made a subtle reference to Ricky’s pot smoking. Aren’t I funny and clever?). But so what? It would be his loss. What do we have to lose? We’re 0-9, man. We need help. John Beck needs help. Plus, I need a reason to keep watching this shit storm of a team.

Here are some stats. And you know I love me some stats. I love stats the way Baltimore Orioles first baseman Aubrey Huff loves porn!

2002 was the best year of Williams’ career as he ended the season with 2,216 all-purpose yards. He averaged 4.8 yards per carry – more than his career average of 4.0. In 2003, Williams rushed for 1,372 yards, averaged 3.5 yards per carry. 2005, after serving a four game suspension during his first “come-back” with the team, Williams ended the season with 743 rushing yards, sharing the load with Ronnie Brown. This season, he’d be playing behind a much improved offensive line that has featured a 100+ yard runner in seven straight games.

That’s a spicy meat-a-balls!

So, I say let’s smoke the peace pipe with Ricky (see! I did it again! Oh these marijuana jokes never get old) and be friends again. We just might win a game or two. Or we may not win any games at all. But we’ll at least be the Super Bowl champions of peace, love and harmony. And isn’t that what’s it’s all about anyway? So, as Nancy Reagan taught us all in that one episode of Diff'rent Strokes when Dudley got all strung up on some high end, pure Columbian Grade A shit: "Say Yes to Ricky!" Or... something to that affect.

Now come read my piece on why the Fins should welcome Ricky back over at The Phish Tank (and leave a comment or two). With apologies to Big Daddy Drew, I reference Ricky as the Aqua Judas in the column. I also got a serious writer vibe going on there too. Very sexy. It’s all good, baby. Swing on by....